Bye bye back pain/tingling/numbness

Hi all. Here is my healed-from-TMS story from several years ago. Hope you find it helpful.

First noticed a weird back pain after coming back from vacation; just figured I had carried a heavy suitcase up and down some stairs. Next time I felt this it was accompanied by tingling/pain in my right butt cheek a few months later--coming home from vacation again. Seemed to feel the butt pain more often. Had it badly returning from vacation AGAIN later. Sitting in the airport, thinking about family stuff, returning to work, etc. Timing of this pain now got my attention and got me thinking. But then I was ok for a couple weeks. Until a milestone birthday where I noticed weird pains and tingling again.

Around Thanksgiving I was driving and got acute pain in my butt cheek and actually cried when I got home. Feeling desperate I called the PCP and she instructed me to go to the ER. ER said "sciatica, take this painkiller and steroid and go to your PCP." 2 days later PCP said take muscle relaxer. Not able to go to work any longer; too much pain. Not better after 2nd trip to PCP that week so she said go to orthopedist. Fortunately had someone to drive me places as I was not in a condition to sit. Got xrays and the diagnosis was degenerative disc disease. Then had an MRI which showed a herniated disc at L5 S1 of course and smaller herniation above it. So I take steroid pack (talk about making me sick!), then physical therapy would be next, injection of cortisone, then if nothing else worked, discectomy. Well, great. I have NEVER had surgery and don't want to! The steroid pack made me sicker than I have been all along. But I kept on it. I was prescribed various painkillers and even the purple pill to help my stomach with the other pills I was supposed to be taking. Pills did not help. Physical therapy and a chiropractor did not help either.

At this point I was pretty much disabled feeling helpless.

Dr. John Sarno was being mentioned to me here and there by friends. Sis-in-law brought me his first book when I asked her to come and do my dishes (I could not stand for more than about 30 seconds) and I read it right away! Very interesting. Also read Dr. Weil's Spontaneous Healing book's section about a man who had shattered discs in his back, which were surely worse than the herniated discs I had; he saw Dr. Sarno, and he has no pain anymore!! Wow. Really amazing.

Got to thinking that I suppose emotions could be causing some of this. Got Dr. Sarno's other books and read them all with tremendous interest.

Very interesting happening: Meanwhile it is now the end of December and the family wants to take a drive to Niagara Falls over the time off. I decided I was going too. Car ride wasn't bad as I just laid in the back seat most of the six hour ride. There is a favorite grocery store in Canada and I told the gang if we were all the way in Canada, we were going to this store. Amazingly I was able to walk up and down almost every aisle at that store with minimal pain--not thinking about my pain or anything else right then as I was distacted with what I was buying. As I got back in the car to leave I realized I had just spent 30+ minutes in a store walking without noticing any pain. VERY Interesting. And in retrospect, it was surely proof that nothing structural was the problem!

Decided to go see Dr. Sarno in. Had a ride in to NYC to see him. I had to lie on the floor in the waiting room and office! Dr. Sarno was great. I loved his conviction and enthusiasm for what he believes. Talked to me about everyday stresses, etc. Also showed me how some of my reflexes were so good they could NOT be related to a herniated disc. Encouraging. I was so relieved the herniated disc was not the cause of the pain! He also talked about an "overflowing beaker" which contained 1/3 childhood issues, 1/3 life's everyday stressors, and 1/3 our personality. When this "beaker" was overflowing, physical issues were the result. He gave me an assignment of reading his "program" aka study guide every day for 30 days. Note this is the information in his The Divided Mind book on pages 142-146.

Got started on my "list" and essay writing. Screamed, cried, cursed, etc. but got lots of emotions out. I was home all day (not working now), so I filled spiral notebooks full of essays. A few days later I could stand up longer. Sit yet? No. Easier to get around though. Within 1.5 weeks I felt a miraculous difference. I asked to be taken to the grocery store since I had not shopped for myself in six weeks. Walked through the store but toward the end had to lie down in the car. Ok, that was progress. I was happy. Next day I sat! I went to the store again and sat in the front seat of the car! No pain! I was ecstatic. Pain soon disappeared completely.

I cannot say enough about Dr. Sarno. I must admit, emotions playing a role in physical health was no news to me as I had heard and read about this for years.

I realize some people will have difficulty believing that your anger, guilt, fear, etc. can cause the brain to cause pain. But I am a believer. I am proof this program works and am so happy I have been able to drive, go to work, and enjoy life again.

Who knows where I'd be (recovering from surgery just to have more pain?) if I had not read his books and seen him.

This was the beginning of a very enlightening and beneficial journey! If you believe in what you are doing, you too can be healed!

 

Thank you for posting this Lori. It's so encouraging and I can really relate to your pain and your journey of remedies. I have the same tee-shirt. I discovered and devoured Dr. Sarno's books in late 2010. I couldn't seem to sustain the journaling effort and make progress on my own, but I'm hopeful that doing the SEP will get me there (even if I have to keep going through it over and over!).

 

When Dr. Sarno said "tms is a gift" at his lecture, I now truly appreciate those words. Having had TMS has opened a new world of learning for me, and I have benefited greatly.

I recall Dr. Sarno saying ANY conflict can cause TMS which I found very powerful, so I try to be aware of any time I feel conflicted (memory from past or present issue) as I don't want to be in agony ever again. Dr. Ronald Hulnick (author and professor--book noted below) says anything that disturbs our peace needs attention.

LEARNINGS SINCE ACCEPTING TMS:
-Most physical issues have emotional causes
-It is in my power to heal myself
-What I believe will be true for me. That is, if you believe "if I do [this] I will have pain" your brain hears that message and will manifest it because you expect it. I stopped having tailbone pain while exercising when I faced the fear and believed there was nothing wrong with me. And it's not been back since!
-So many beliefs are conditioned responses and can be undone when we realize they are false (example of that is as simple as: a hard (or soft) mattress causes back pain!)
-Any conflict we feel can create a condition in our body
-Always always be true to myself
-Find things that bring JOY--feeling joy balances our neurotransmitters and makes the everyday events in our lives less impactful in a negative way
-Fully accepting and feeling that: We are all doing the best we can in this moment.

Updated: Important items to aid in healing:
1. belief it is TMS or a mind/body condition/issue. Acceptance that our emotions, childhood, etc. and events physically affect us if not processed. Things that fester cause pain and disease. also: The body heals. Pain is not due to an injury from 20 years ago (which I learned first hand myself). Many more physical issues are emotion-induced than people currently think or are willing to believe (because work and change is involved).
2. Change your thinking (and it will change your life). a. positive and loving, and b. undoing conditioned thinking. I realize it's been stored up for years but it can be undone.
3. Take your power back! Don't give it to a doctor or to a condition. "I have the power to get to the emotion (root cause) that is causing this condition and heal the emotion which will heal the condition." It works. I've done it.
4. Reinforce this by reading TMS and other good mind/body books
5. JOURNAL. just start writing. Irritated or frustrated? (anger underneath). Sad? need to grieve the loss of someone/something? Afraid (big one!) Guilty? I cannot emphasize enough the importance of journaling for processing feelings. This takes time. If you do not process the feelings and remove them, they will continue to create conditions in your body to try to get your attention. I don't want that! If I don't have paper (e.g. am driving when I think of something annoying me) I will talk journal. Or talk-journal (while alone) to the person with whom I'm having an issue to see if I can resolve or come to terms with accepting a situation. Sometimes all that's needed is a change in my own perspective. I have actually felt a shift when I came to terms with something. Pretty cool.
6. Find things that bring you joy to balance everyday stressors. Even simple things that bring a smile to your face--I crushed pinecones the other day! Love that crunch sound!
7. Self-worth and acceptance of self. We are doing the best we can right now. We are worthwhile people!
8. Forgiveness: of self and others. Forgiveness is not for the person we believe wronged us; it is for US. We can let it go. We are the one being harmed by any resentment.
9. I do believe there is a spiritual component that is important along with faith. I can also say that during my appointment with Dr. Sarno we discussed how those who are or were involved with strict religions have much inner rage as we needed to be "goodists".

I have given some consideration as of late to the secondary gain the condition is causing. Is it getting the person attention they seek? Getting them out of something they don't want to do? Years later I can see how this was true for me to some degree.
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Dr. Davis Hamilton spoke at a convention and had fascinating details about how the mind affects the body, down to our DNA, and how healthy thoughts create healing because oxytocin is released through the bloodstream. Inflammation is due to chemical released due to stress and negative thinking. He emphasized that you must believe in what you are doing ("the TMS program will work for me!") to see results and cited examples of people who defied doctors predictions because they visualized and believed (with iron will) in what they were doing. He has case studies and lots of statistics. Check out his web site for more details or videos on youtube. His book is called It's The Thought That Counts. Excellent read and I plan to incorporate some of his ideas in my everyday life. He talks about how every thought and emotion change our biology. Also about placebo effects, and how social mood and family beliefs influence our pain--not necessarily our genetics! You can view his lectures on youtube.

Books I've read that support the emotional causes of ailments (probably in the order I read them!):
Dr. John Sarno books
Pain Free for Life by Dr. Scott Brady
Louise Hay:
-You Can Heal Your Life
-Empowering Women
-The Power is Within You
-I Can Do It
Your Body Believes Every Word You Say by Barbara Hoberman Levine
When The Body Says No by Dr. Gabor Mate
Candace Pert: 1) Everything You Need To Know to Feel Go(o)d and 2) Molecules of Emotion
Gay Hendricks about loving yourself
Forgiveness by Gerry Jamplonsky
Happiness Now by Robert Holden
Take off Your Glasses and See! by Jacob Liberman
The Power of Positive Thinking by N. V. Peale
Truth Heals by Debra King
Love Your Disease by Dr. John Harrison
It's the Thought that Counts by Dr. David Hamilton
Counter Clockwise
Your Body Speaks Your Mind
Healing Happens
How God Changes your Brain
Feelings Buried Alive Never Die: K. Truman
Healing Feelings from your Heart: K. Truman
The Love Response by Dr. Eva Selhub
The Biology of Belief by Dr. Bruce Lipton
Spontaneous Evolution by Dr. Bruce Lipton
Love Yourself by Dr. Lise Bourbeau
Loyalty to Your Soul by Drs. Ron & Mary Hulnick
The Tapping Solution by Nick Ortner (great for looking for what's underneath your issues!)
Mind Over Medicine by Dr. Lissa Rankin

 

Lori,
Thank you so much for writing this amazing post. I am sure I will be coming back to it when I need a little help.

Can you say anything about Lissa Rankin's book? I saw an ad for it the other day and was intrigued.

 

Thanks so much, Lori. This is a "keeper."

 

She is newer to the mind/body connection than some of us, but she does have a lot of worthwhile things to say in her book and on her blog. One of the things I like is her "whole health cairn" and all the facets of our health--physical being affected by many many factors (which we've all learned here!) Truth be told, I'm about half way through the book. I'll get back to you once I've finished it! You can also find her on youtube and a ted talk or two!

 

Lilibet. I love meerkats. I watched that incredible series about them on the Animal Planet.
It ended sadly with the courageous mother meerkat sacrificing her life for her babies, but
otherwise loved it.
The SEP program is great. I hope you stick with it.

 

Lori this is such a good post of hope, I love it. Thanks so much

 

Thank you so much for sharing your story.

 

Thanks very much for your posts Lori. It gives me hope that there is recovery and the process works. I'll definitely use the suggestions you posted. Peace.

 

What Magic!!!! What a great story

 

Thank you Lori for a wonderfully uplifting story and wealth of information. I have bookmarked it to reread and reread. In my very worst days of pain, 16 months before I had heard of Dr Sarno, I listened to an audiobook called, "The Anatomy of Hope" by Jerome Goopman, M.D. 'How people prevail in the face of illness'. It is one of the things that helped me have hope and perseverence.

 

Hi Lori, your story has been very impressive. I am taking you as inspiration as my situation is similar to you. I am couple of weeks into treatment. I am able to walk well and still unable to sit for more than 5 mins.. All of a sudden from no where the negative feelings are coming my way and I am getting lost. can you suggest me something. Since I am bedridden at the moment its very hard for me to live a normal life or think normal. My issues is L4-L5 & L5-S1 pressing the thecal sac. There is no evidence of nerve compression as well. I suit very perfectly for the TMS profile.

 

IndiMarshall, I have been thinking about your post and wondering what I could suggest to you. I hope you are doing better with the negative feelings than on Wednesday. I think, since you are only a couple of weeks into treatment, the best thing is to focus on the journalling and following the programme you are following. When you have the negative feelings, try to observe the feelings and ride them like a surfer rides a wave and remember, this too shall pass. It is common when one starts to journal for the negative feelings to well up. I thought of those times like digging in a garden. I never knew what kinds of creepy crawlies I would unearth that day, but that eventually after planting, I would have a beautiful garden growing.

 

Eileen, Thanks for taking your time out to reply .
I will note this. Its very helpful..

I always like this phrase 'this too shall pass'

 

What is SEP that you mentioned in your thread?
Kathleen

 

It is Structured Educational Program...
http://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/Educational_Program_Day_1

 

Thank you for that. I'm going to work on it. It's a structured treatment I can follow. I've tried Dr Sarno for a month but it didn't help. Maybe I didn't do it long enough.
Kathleen

 

Kathleen, it takes TIME for this new way of thinking (and believing) to sink into the brain. Don't give up. Dr. Sarno tells patients to read his study program (p 142-144 in The Divided Mind) EVERY DAY for 30 days. Yes, I got to know what it said pretty much by heart, but I read it anyway. For 30 days. All I had to lose was the pain. And it works.

 

Steve O book is the only book that u need