Day 1 Chronic Pelvic Pain = TMS

Hello out there. Here is the story of my TMS journey so far.

Just over 10 months ago I awoke in the night with a sharp electric stabbing pain in the rectum. It only last a few seconds but scared me a bit. Went back to bed and didn't really think too much about it the next day. Then, 2 days later I awoke with a burning sensation in the rectum. Not pleasant but just figured it wasn't anything too serious and went on with life. Figured it would subside sooner or later. When it didn't after a month I went to my family doctor. Rectal exam, some ointment given. Ultrasound taken. All fine. Pain would almost subside at times but never total resolve. It started to morph into twitches, tingling, aching. Now I'm starting to freak out a bit. Doctor diagnosis it must be an anal fissure. Provides different ointment. No improvement. Then I started feeling odd twitching sensations all through legs. Odd energy feel in body. 3 months from initial doctor appointment I get a sigmoidoscopy. Surgeon says electric pain sounds like proctalgia fugax but no official diagnosis. See other surgeon that says to "just relax, get a dog, do things I like" and I will get better. At this point I'm convinced it is some sort of nervous breakdown or mid-life crisis and try to move on. But the pain remains. About 4-5 months from the start it flips to the groin and lower stomach. I went on short vacation and was in a lot of discomfort. Started having problems starting to pee. Wheels are falling off! Depression. Anxiety, etc. Through research I find a pelvic floor therapist. Includes acupuncture and internal pelvic floor massage. Yup, lots of fun. 3 months of therapy (weekly) with moments of improvement but overall still not 100%. My therapist says there is asymmetry in my pelvic floor and it is quite toned/tight. Lots of life style changes like changing to a less stressful job, standing desk, yoga, meditation. Countless hours of targeted stretches and strength building. Work on gait, posture, etc. A few weeks ago I notice white dots on my legs. Like reverse freckles starting to appear. I have a short freak out but at this point in the game I'm like whatever, add it to the list of troubles.

That is the physical story. Now for the mental side. During the time before I got sick, I was under a lot of pressure running a small business. I was in a project that I didn't want to be in (web development) but I couldn't get out of it because I had invested a lot of time and had a team of developers I'd already paid for the work. I didn't even want to take the project in the first place but it was to help out a friend's client that needed a pretty complex website redone. Anyway, it went bad early. I felt disrespected, betrayed by friend, bullied and generally trapped in the project from hell. I take vacation a few months in and have a good time, feeling good health but come back to this mess. I get sick a few weeks after returning. Project is long over but I'm still suffering. I've moved through a lot of fear (I have pudendal neuralgia! My life is ruined!) and feel like I've found the answer with TMS.

My introduction to TMS came just a few days ago while reading a review from the film "All The Rage". The idea of trapped emotion (Rage over project, rage over working hard all my life without allowing to play, fear I'll lose my charmed life (up to the illness) all add up. I've been researching TMS online and it just makes so much sense to me. I've had over 80 health related appointments since this started so I've started to take control and cancelled a number of appointments that are pelvic focused. Attending an MBSR course at the moment which seems to fit so keeping that up with daily meditation/body scans. Starting to introduce more exercise, sitting more, etc. I really have faith in this so just looking to keep that positive feeling. I'm not generally a positive person so it's going to take resolve to change that. I'm also not the most patient so realising it might not be immediate results will test me.

I have a beautiful 8 year old son and wonderful wife and generally a good life before this so looking forward to integrating back into it after being obsessed with my health. Day 1 is here!

 

Welcome, Sheltered. I hold the vision of marvelous, pain free health for you.

 

Thanks Chimpmama!

 

do yourself a favor and block the the following quackery boards in your firewall:
pudendalhope - PNE surgery quacks
chronicprostatitis dot com - a site dedicated to promote the quackery super expensive clinic in stanford (wise anderson protocol)
prostatitis forum org - not that they are quacks, but the desperate souls there keep looking for hidden bacteria and infections as source of their health problems..
These boards will get you nowhere and you can seriously damage your health if you follow them, or at least empty your wallet.

back to your story: if you did all the regular check ups and the docs found nothing major going on, you can be sure you have TMS, your story is really simlar to mine, although I woke up with sharp stabbing pains in the bladder due to a kidney stones, it left me with TMS nonetheless. It all started after an extremely stressful period, I'm sure the stone was just the last drop to start the perfect storm.
I overcame chronic prostatitis/ pudendal neuralgia/ CPPS and all those fictive diagnoses just by following the TMS approach, nothing else helped me. Following the above sites made my pain go from bad to suicidal, fear plays a major role in TMS. After finding out about TMS it helped me to neutrlize the fear and therefore the pain gradually disappeared, I still however suffer with flareups during stressful periods, the pain mainly manifests now in my legs or buttocks.
Check up the success stories of members like ezer and and C90dan who completely beat PN by following the TMS approaches.
best of luck, you will beat this

 

Thanks CarboNeVo! Yes, definitely no more research on pudendal neuralgia/CPPS etc. By this time I think I've read everything on the internet on it anyway. It's about as perfect a TMS condition as they come. Reading the symptom list is like out of some horror movie. Fear is definitely increased by research. Hard to not freak out! Feeling really grateful I came across TMS at this time. Many months late but better late than never. All the best to you.

 

I became my self addicted to forums. Even here for example yesterday I became very motivated to go in the park and walk 4-5 km every morning then to jump in my cab and go to work. But last night somebody reply with a negative post that he's not believing in TMS and he thinks is all structural .....
He dragged me down so much and I couldn't sleep last night just thinking if he's right or not.
If you go to chronicprostatitis dot com there every user has a description of symptoms.
It was soul destroying to read " worsening by sitting " when I am driving for living. I didn't spend allot in pudendalhope just went to see ( I had doubts) if ezer story was real . (And it was ..then he got better )
I don't really now how to get rid of spending hours on forums .
I had CPPS during 2010-2012 and I got obsessed that time about getting rid of my prostate.
I jumped in the plane to Miami for surgery but I have changed my mind in the last moment. Then I had that click..... I just said to my self " ok , I will give myself another year, and if not improved I will go ahead with surgery ".
When came back home I realised that my depression subsided and I didn't focus so much on pain. Then in a year I was 95% better and mentally 100%. When you get healed mentally you will get rid of pain.
I didn't now that time about TMS ....but I think I got better when I got rid of depression/ anxiety.

3 years I didn't open any forum or health relating website I just wanted to forget.
People who came back and empower the others after got better are purely heroes ezer, c90dan, carbonevo.

The recovery is very positive I had experienced that once and I hope I will do it again.

 

It's been a while since I've been on the TMS forum. I was on today because of a notification on another thread and got curious to look back at some of my old posts. This first post is now closing in on 5 years ago. Humbling. For those out there that trip across this post, know that I completely healed. That TMS was a God send. That it was required to open up my perception of how things really are in the world. That it was required for me to learn more about myself and find greater empathy for others. That it has been the most profound experience of my life (so far!). For those suffering, know there is a way to healing. You will find your way. Keep faith. Keep hope. I wish you well.

 

Hello,
I got a question. How long did it take you to get cured, after you knew that you are healthy.

 

I don't remember. It wasn't immediately although I do remember feeling much better quickly. Just not 100%. If you are going through this I would recommend not focusing on time. It's counterproductive. For me it went from all consuming to rarely thinking about it to not worrying at all about it. Look after yourself!

 

First, thanks for the quick response. I've had the symptoms for about 2-3 months. It all started with intestinal problems. These got better. But the pain then became CPPS symptoms. I know it was triggered by severe stress. Until recently I was at my wits' end. I was very scared and couldn't sleep because of the pain. I felt paralyzed. But recently, I've pulled myself together. I've been feeling much better for a few days now. For the first time, I had pain-free days with only mild pain. I know it's going to be a long road. But I'm ready to go. The solution is most likely distraction. I have another question. Did you also have such a sensitive stomach? I couldn't wear tight pants. My stomach always felt tense, so that abdominal breathing was sometimes not possible at all. I hope that at some point I can say that I am 100% pain-free. I learned a lot in this short time. Anyone who suffers from it knows how bad it is. This “disease” is really something strange.

 

You might not have a long road ahead. You know it is TMS so that is huge. Also, your symptoms are on the move. Another good sign. You are right about it being strange. Your remedies might not be the next persons. I found listening to hard rock helped! Reduce your stress. Lighten up. Do stuff you like for yourself. Take care of yourself. Don't worry about some little pain or ache appears. That is what it wants. You're gonna get better. And not just "better" but 100% better. Be patient. Be well!

 

I will definitely do things that I enjoy. Since I feel improvement, I know it will go away the same way. I'm going on vacation next week. I think I can relax there. I will report back when I am 100% pain free. Many thanks!