Committing to JournalSpeak

I've decided to truly commit myself to the JournalSpeak method of TMS healing (not to the exclusion of other methods). Ironically, I came upon TMS through Nicole Sachs when I began to think that learning all about pain science could help me understand what was happening to me and looked up chronic pain science on Spotify. Nicole Sachs' podcast came up and I've been growing my belief in the mind-body connection ever since.

I've read almost all of the primary resources recommended on this site - multiple John Sarno books, Alan Gordon, Steven Ozanich, Claire Weekes, and I'm currently getting started on Dr. Schubiner's work. I've done my very best to engulf myself in TMS and learn all that I can, I've tried to implement many tools to help my healing along - meditation, talking to my brain, outcome independence, somatic tracking, acceptance (though this one still eludes me at these early stages...).

While doing all of that though, I have resisted journaling. I've tried it on and off over the months but have never committed. I'm resisting the true emotional work that needs to happen. I've come to recognize that all the other approaches feel more like managing my pain and symptoms than true recovery.

After a bad flare, and some reminders from folks on here, I'm making a decision today to commit to JournalSpeak (AKA the actual emotional work!). I spent the day listening to Nicole Sachs episodes and her YouTube series to ensure I approach this correctly, but I understand that at the end of the day, I just need to get writing.

To those who have used this method of TMS healing, do you have any advice, reminders, or even success stories that may help me as I really dedicate myself to this?

 

Thank you!! These are really useful tips. Even in the last few days sitting down to journal, I've recognized those thoughts in my head. In fact, I had a particular thought or memory pop into my head that immediately scared me to think about. Almost instantly I moved away from it, I did end up pausing and facing it and writing on it and it ended up being a very productive session. I'm recognizing more and more certain memories, thoughts, and feelings that I reflexively pull away from an I'm trying to counteract that reaction.

I had been implementing writing one thing I am grateful for but did not think about writing one thing I appreciate about myself, I really like that. I feel like a lot of my journaling comes back around to how I feel about myself (largely negative, which surprises me because I've never been particularly self-loathing, and do recognize my strengths) ... so adding that will help me find a more positive place at the end of these sessions.

 

I don't know how far you have gone with your journaling and healing, so whether my 2 cents are helpful - is up to you.

Cent #1. I am one of those weirdos for whom journaling in its classic form (daily brain dump on paper) did not work at all. After couple weeks of ever increased frustration, I gave up. But I continued writing occasionally, to my TMS therapist (bless her heart, she actually read it!), I also responded a lot to the people on this forum, and it all helped me organize my thoughts and emotions. So, don't be a perfectionist. Writing works, but obsessively following somebody else's method of writing may not work, so find your own.
Cent #2. Doing too much may actually exacerbate perfectionist/obsessive tendencies that TMSers usually possess. It is important to find a balance between "not enough" and "too much". It takes some experience to find that ease and relaxed confidence in yourself, but it eventually comes, like with every new skill.

My success story is here, with the long list of diagnoses:

https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/cts-carpal-tunnel-syndrome-crps-dystonia-raynauds-full-recovery.22242/ (CTS(Carpal tunnel syndrome), CRPS, dystonia, Raynaud's - full recovery)


Best of luck to you!

 

Thank you! I am someone who really, really struggles to feel my emotions. I have a terrible memory of my childhood and adolescence (I had a boyfriend for my entire high school experience and looking back I feel like I barely remember him. My parents and siblings bring up events from my childhood constantly that I literally have no recollection of --- bad bad bad memory), which makes even finding things to write about feel tough. I know I am so repressed, and I'm struggle to break through that, but I think the only answer is to keep at it without putting too much pressure on myself.

I am absolutely the person who would overdo it. I am trying for the daily 20 minutes but not holding myself to daily if I'm busy, just shooting for general consistency.

I appreciate your input very much! I will check out your story. Would you say that journaling the way you landed on doing it for yourself was a key component to your recovery? I am beginning to feel like it will be a critical factor in mine.

 

Yes, I do think that writing helped me better understand myself. I think better if and when I write, so no wonder. But each person is unique, so you need to find what feels right for you. Keep trying different things and keep what works. Also, remember that "unfreezing" your inner child is a long journey and it may take years to get there, which does not mean that your pain will stick around that long :=).

 

Thank you! I have been finding that I do respond to writing, and I think as I practice more getting down to the emotions will come more naturally. It is ultimately accessing those repressed emotions. I remember finding on an old forum post here a guided journal method - there was a long list of questions in which you would pick and start writing about. I'll have to track that down because I feel like that could help push me in a direction that I may not otherwise go.

I will be sure to stay open to what works and not hold onto what doesn't feel right/effective.

 

I'm really interested in this! I'm definitely going to check that out.

My poor memory has always bothered me and I'd love to have more insight into why I am this way. Even what I do remember from childhood feels devoid of any of the emotions I would've felt at that time. It really is an interesting thing - and I think a true indication that there's work to be done.

 

Thanks! I figured it was time I personalized a bit...

 

Il semble que c'est la même chose pour moi... Comme par exemple la première rupture amoureuse ou la séparation des parents qui était à l'époque comme le drame de ma vie me semble oublié et dépourvu de souvenirs. Quand je revois les photos je trouve que j'ai l 'air d'un fantôme au regard vide!

 

My parents also divorced when I was at a young age and feel that was the original trigger that would've led to some repressed emotions and shutting down. Something like that for a young kid really does make such an impact on their emotional life! It feels like a different person and a lifetime away.