Day 25 Compassion, TMS dreams and hope.

Day 25 – How I’m doing so far, and what apprehensions I have about this treatment or my life in general.

There’s part of me which beats myself up for not being further along this programme than I feel I should be because it’s far longer than 25 days since I found out about this programme. But in another way I feel proud because I’ve actually stuck with this for 25 days in a row! (apart from the included rest days).

I think that these two mentioned parts are healthy and this programme has helped me be more compassionate towards myself. I think that in the past I would have only been able to “feel” the first part, that is, feel like I’m useless ecause I’m not further along with the porocess and have been slacking. I believe this integration of parts represens a positive drive to complete the programme, combined with compassion and respect for undertaking this activity. Interestingly, this compassion has not decreased my productivity/drive (I’d always assumed that you shouldn’t be kind to yourself otherwise ou won’t be motivated – that you’re only motivated if you are disgusted by yourself in a certain area and then this provides mortivation. However, this is ismply not true. With compassion you can do just as well, if not better. I’ve been applying some advanced strategies which I’ve known of but never had the guts to apply (or procrastinated on) but now I’ve applied them – compassionately.

A lot of my apprehensions have disappeared. I have no doubt in my mind that physical pain can be brought on or exaccerbated by psychological factors and that this approach is extremely powerful. My main apprehension is probably will it work for me? I’ve tried many approaches which are “supposed” to be effective and then disappointed and I’m worried that this may work for other people but not work for me for whatever reason. Perhaps I’m different. I don’t know. But I do think that this approach will work for me and that I will eventually become a success story. Undoubately, although this process is initially very uncomfortable when initially journalling and I end up finding a million reasons why I “should” be doing something else when I actually push past this uncomfortbale feeling I find it extremely interesting and enlightening and am experiencing some of the best growth that I have ever experienced in my life from an activity. I’m now scheduling this activity, getting my SEP done for the day and then getting on with my day and.

Interestingly, I’ve had a few dreams/nightmares about TMS actually which have led to some amazing insights to be generated and me journalling in the middle of the night just to get the amaazing insights down. Emotions/ways of being which I had no conscious awareness of have been brought to consciousness like this and it’s pretty amazing.

I’ve not yet experienced decreaes in symtpoms which I’m aware of but I’m going to stick with the process and potentially see a TMS professional in my area. I hav no other choice. I can’t go on like this for the rest of my life. I don’t feel like I have a future otherwise and don’t want to spend the rest of my life being physically limited in the way that much of my life has been so far.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I would love to hear any comments, suggestions and feedback that you may have.

 

Hi, Actualization. I think you are making very good progress toward TMS healing. You accept TMS causing your symptoms, and I urge you to believe that 100 percent, with no doubts about possible structural problems. I am a writer and get some of my best ideas in my dreams or when waking up at night. I keep a note pad and pen and flashlight beside my bed and sit up and write the thoughts down, as you are doing in journaling. Otherwise, I might forget the ideas come morning. So keep up the good work! Don't forget deep breathing and mindful meditation (living in the present moment).