Criitical Of Myself

I have found myself being very critical of my physical appearance since my pain started 2 years ago. I used to very fit and went to the gym a lot with all my mates and we were all in good shape but now i beat myself up cause i tink i should be going to the gym and then a lil voice says you cant it hurts you'll never be like that again.I used to walk with held held high and shoulders back feeling strong but now i even change what clothes i wear as i used to where fitted clothing but now more loose as Im not happy with the way i look.Its not even what other people think its what i think of myself that seems to be the most damaging. Am i being lazy or making excuses i ask myself but always putting it down to the fact that i will never be able to that weights etc again and am expecting that outcome instead of fighting it! Really need to get back to being fit but will always get the pain if i am expecting it!