Day 1 Crippling back pain, asthma attacks, colitis, allergies and other mysteries

Hi all,

I'm at the end of the 2nd day of exploring TMS and 5th month of crippling back pain. The more I dig into TMS, the more weird symptoms I could backtrack that could not have been explained by any blood tests, physical examinations, physiotherapists, orthopedics, allergy specialists, MRI scans, vitamin deficiencies, or any other doctors or tests.

I suddenly started having knee pain back in 2018 - anything from burning to freezing to tingling and numbing sensation. As per doctors - nothing was wrong with me, but the pain was accompanied by anxiety and depression, that after 8 months of pain, I finally agreed to take SSRIs, and my pain dissolved in 2 weeks. That was weird. I tried getting off the medicine unsuccessfully once - the pain came back immediately and anxiety together with it. Got back on it, and successfully got off the medicine the 2nd time last spring. During the summer, I started having a bunch of weird sensations in my body that I never had - some allergic reactions to dogs, developed colitis together with constant GI problems, and experienced a few asthma attacks at night whilst not having any similar issues in the past.

And for the cherry on top, at the end of September, my lower back got locked a couple of days after a gym session. "I overdone it", I thought. A sharp pain traveled from my back all the way to my toes. Whilst the initial pain subsided, I am stuck with the chronic pain in my back since then. I've been afraid to work out with a fear that I will make it worse, and I need to be a vegetable until I heal, but the healing never came. It's crippling, it's making me a terrible person to myself and others, and it's making my world very dark. With some ups and downs, and pain migrating around the body - sometimes better and sometimes much worse - I now know that my hidden emotions of trying to be the perfect girlfriend, the perfect employee, the perfect daughter, the perfect friend is literally hurting me every day.

Although I am officially starting a pain rehab program in a week where I am located, I will be using this TMS program to supplement my recovery. And I am so grateful for both not giving up and staying curious to find a way out of the pain. I have so much to look forward to in life, and I have to prove to myself that my pain is not me. If I can learn how to cope with it now, I will have a powerful weapon for life to handle my emotions in such a way that sets me free.

Looking forward to this journey and thank you all who took the time to read my story.

All the best,
Neri