Day 3 Daily Journal Exercise post

When was the last time you exercised or did another physical activity? What was this activity? How did it make you feel physically and emotionally? If it is has been a while since you last exercised, why?

The last time I exercised a lot was probably a month or so ago. 30 mile flat bike ride. Biking is something I used to love, and still do, but it is miserable now. mentally and physically. Once I had the ride planned, all I think about is how it is going to hurt, and how I'll be sore the next days after and in pain while I was riding. I can ride flat paths with a level of pain that I can push through. but it isn't ideal. I want to be able to ride where ever I want. Mountains, hills, any surface. So it makes me sad when I'm riding the same flat path. It hurts. And when it hurts my main emotion is defeat and sadness because I think "this is it, this is all I'll ever be able to do, I won't ever get to do the things I want to do because if this flat trail hurts my back, anything harder than this will be excruciatingly painful. And I can't do this often because I need days to recover and if I do this regularly, I'll be in constant pain" (which when I used to push myself and ride 5x a week the pain got so bad I stopped for years.

The pain took the joy out of the things I loved and took away my hope for a happy future. Because for me a I envisioned being happy = being able to do the things I love. Anytime I am in pain when I bike or hike I just think about all the things I wanted to do physically in the future that I will never be able to accomplish. (now I am hopeful, but those were my thoughts before starting). I had planned my whole future on being "disabled".

 

I understand completely.

Keep up the good work!