day 1 - again

I was a patient of Dr. Sarno's back in 1997. I first read his book, after which I had some improvement with my lower back pain. I then decided to do his complete program, which gave me great relief, and mostly no pain, for the past 15 years. Occasionally, I would have some back pain over the years, but only now and then, and NEVER like what it had been (before I started with Dr. Sarno, I had been walking with a cane, as I couldn't stand up or walk more than a few steps without agonizing pain.

There were a couple of times over those years when I had to speak to Dr. Sarno, or attend some of his follow-up seminars. Every time, the pain diminished greatly, and usually went away completely, after I did this.

Fast forward to the beginning of 2012, around March. My back "spasms" (that's what I call them, even though I know that's NOT what they are, but it kind of describes how they feel) came back with a vengeance. Since then, I have been having severe back "episodes" which last about a week, and then gradually completely disappear for 1 to 3 weeks, then return to torture me....and so on.

This last one started around March 22, while I was visiting family in Florida. I had gone out walking on Sunday, then again on Monday. My back felt a little sore after Monday's walk, and proceeded to get worse and worse as the day progressed, until, that evening I could barely stand up at all, or move. As per its standard procedure, the pain and my inability to stand up or walk got progressively worse over the next 3 days.

It was agony to pack my bags and get myself to the airport and fly home on that Wednesday.
My back "episode" has continued since then and is really depressing me, because I KNOW that it is just TMS, and somehow, this time, it is NOT going away! I am going into my 5th week of agony, and can't do even the most fundamental mundane things I normally do.

I was browsing the internet and came upon this site. Since I am out of other options, I decided to see if working this program could help me.

So, here I am: day one - again.

 

Families can be a major catalyst for symptoms.

This statement seems contradictory to me. If you know you have TMS then it follows that your pain will go away because it has no structural cause. It is benign.

I haven't done the structured program myself but I think it may be a good way forward for you if you are truly stuck.

Welcome to the forum. The community here will also support you on your journey. You WILL be pain free again.

 

thanks, and it seems contradictory even to me...but i DO know that i have TMS, and i am familiar with and have been practicing reading, writing and "talking" as i have learned about since 1997.....but i am also being tortured by the pain and the fact that it is lasting so long.

 

My parents have been a major catalyst for excruciating pain. I moved my parents here 3 years ago because my Dad had kidney failure. My pain went into orbit but now I know so much about why and I am sure I will learn more. My Mother knows I started this program. I gave my parents a brief explanation. So in almost a month after our first discussion she has never asked me how it is going. I have learned how typical this is for both my Mom and Dad.. Normally my thinking would be around me not being "good enough" to take interest in and care about.

But I am "thinking" differently these days knowing this example would be a trigger for my low self esteem and not pleasing them. That is a big one for me... not disappointing anyone. You can figure this all out. Sandy