Day 1 - Just Starting

I'm just beginning my TMS journey. In 2002 I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease. I've dealt with pain associated with this disease off and on, escalating in severity in 2015. Near the end of 2016 I learned I had a perforated colon and had surgery in 2017 to remove and resect my colon. I had about 5 months pain free and woke up one morning, feeling like I slept wrong. From that moment, I feel like I've been in a downward spiral of back pain. After countless chiropractor, acupuncture and doctor visits (and all the tests that come with it), I learned I had 2 bulging discs that were "causing my pain" and they wanted to do surgery. I have declined surgery to this point and have been trying everything I could think of to stop/reverse the symptoms. Nothing has helped. My husband recently pointed out to me that, "isn't it strange how you finally get rid of one pain and almost immediately it pops up somewhere else?"

My friend told me about the Dr. Sarno method and my husband did some research for me to point me in the direction of the Structured Education Program. I haven't even read Dr. Sarno's book yet...but am diving into this program. I am nervous and frankly, don't want to do this. I absolutely HATE journaling and in my head, just don't want bring out emotions/feelings that seem better left alone. But I'm tired of being in pain - I can't do ANYTHING! I'm frustrated and angry and pissed that this program seems to be my best chance of stopping this pain. I don't want to do it - everything in me resists (which is probably why I need it!). But I'm starting. I'm keeping an open mind. I'm going to do the work. I'm going to do the work. I'm going to do the work. I'M GOING TO DO THE WORK! Wish me luck!

 

Hi @Martha17 ....I think you just did a great first journal in this post! I love your honesty, and I do wish you all the best on this journey. Dr Sarno says we create the pain to hide what we believe will be a greater pain. And then there are personality traits. I'm on Day 31 and really glad for all that this program is guiding me to. And my pain has subsided greatly, after 30 years of all sorts of pain and dis-ease and symptoms. There is loads to read and learn from along the way, to go along with the journalling. I hope it is better than you expect. You might like Nicole Sachs. Your post reminds me of her style of journalling. It's raw and goes deep, and I find I feel much better afterwards. I know, not what I expected, either.

 

Hi Martha,

Love the honesty! I started the Structured Program today and I have read two of Dr. Sarno's books over the past two months. I have seen some improvement but feel this will be the key. Before I knew about TMS I had similar thinking to you about how my issues would shift elsewhere when one would go away. For example, sciatica, anxiety/intrusive thoughts, panic attacks, acid reflux. I always thought to myself that it seemed as if my brain liked being occupied with an issue (a lot of this happened while in undergrad studying Cognitive Science and graduated earlier this year) so I knew that the brain can distract us with thoughts but I never knew that it could with illness and I am glad to know this now. We can get better!

 

Yes! Now we know. And so now it can shift and go and we don't need all these illnesses, pain and symptoms any more. And in the end, we will know ourselves better and feel better.