Day 1 day 1 of program

This is my first post and I'm a new member to this site Ive struggled with tms symptoms most of my life. When I look back on my childhood I realize how many things were wrong with me at a young age. Shin splints which prevented me from participating in gym, exploratory surgery to see the cause of all my bladder issues, chronic foot problems, the list is endless. As a adult more chronic foot problems, chostocondritis, digestive issues, headaches, tmj, on and on the list goes. My most current symptom is a frozen shoulder of sorts. Its happened once before where i cant move my arm at all. Blood flow is reduced as the arm is cold and discoloured. Its excruciating and dominates my thoughts. I know I'm not to feed into the pain by thinking about it but its so hard when every movement is painful. I can't go to work and physically do my job which adds another element of stress as my coworkers are nosey and all up in everyones business. And i dont want to lie and say its something when I know that its tms but not everyone is open to that and i dont want ppl thinking im a nut job. So I make up a explaination to the pain that a dr has given me which by the way i had to go to to recieve a dr note for work since main steam society cant fathom any other explanation. I was angry about having to go to a dr to appease my employer when i know what the real problem is here. Anyway one of the things ive noticed when I have a flare is how emotional I am. The last few days I been sobbing pretty constant Big heavy sobbing with no thoughts behind it Just really heavy grief escaping I think. So here I sit typing something i never thought id do on a forum as part of the healing program. And I realize that theres spelling mistakes and I's that arent capitalized and I'm leaving them as is because things dont have to be perfect and I need to be ok with that