Day 1. The Journey begins

I am now 60 years young, but have experienced chronic fatique, chronic pain and emotional turmoil since the age of 18. I have totally exhausted every avenue of support, there is nothing I haven't tried, no medical tests I haven't undertaken. I am at the point where not only am I bored and fed up with how I feel so is my husband and my family.

Having reading Healing Back Pain everything is now falling into place. I do not have a medical condition I have a wrongly wired brain. Now I need some help and support to re-wire, to reconnect with myself in healthy way and re-connect with my family, friends and the wider world from a healthier viewpoint other than through the foggy lens of the emotional and physical pain, anxiety, depression, fibromyalgia, palpitations, panic attacks et etc etc boring boring boring that has dogged my whole adult life. Maybe that's the key 'adult' I don't think I was ready to be an adult.

At 18 I became a first time mum and felt isolated and unsupported. My whole family has disintegrated after my parents divorce when I was 13, I don't believe this is where it all started for me, I believe that came much further back in my life when I found I couldn't trust my mum to be kind to me because she was too busy being hateful, my dad although a kindly gentleman was weak and did anything for an easy life so allowed her to be a bully. As children me and my siblings were unable to control our environment, that was up to the giants (adults) who looked after us, I use the word looked after because emotional and physical care never came into it.

My father passed away 2 years ago and this has left a huge whole in my life, now all I have is my mum (still seeing the world through the eyes of my unloved child) as I have my own family, husband, children, grandchildren. Time now to release the chains of my past, let them loose, be free to live out my life in a way that is uplifting and supportive of who I wish to be now, not who I was then. I feel about 4 years old.

 

Thank you JanAtheCPA - one of the things I struggle with, that causes me to experience extreme stress is that I never felt heard as a child - your response has shown me that I have been heard - thank you so much ❤️

 

Hi there,
I really appreciate your story. I'm 61. I think there are quite a few of us who didn't have emotional support as kids.
My mother's idea was if we had food and clothing, then we were cared for. Her resentment of having children when she should have had a career was unfixable. She presented to the outside world like a nurturing mother, but she was unhappily jealous of any freedoms we had as children.
My father, too, was very very passive in her presence and also seemed to have no interest in having children to deal with.
We were never abandoned, mostly just treated like a bother.
My two older sisters demanded their attention through fits and illnesses. As the third daughter, I faded away and escaped whenever I could.

My TMS work has been so much about getting out from under the feeling that my thoughts don't matter, that I'm there to "serve the queen" if you will.
I'm happy that you found TMS work, @MrsJenks. This is a good group. You will be heard.
More people probably read the Support Forum or General Forum, if you want the feedback of people further along in the process. You might want to post there, as well.

Everything you have can be banished with TMS work. Many of us have made great strides and have success stories.

Peace to you on this Sunday afternoon.