Day 1

It has been more than 3 months now that I have been suffering from strange symptoms. It all started with an attack of vertigo accompanied by a headache, stomach pain, nausea, loss of appetite. I went to the doctor twice, first she gave me antacid pills than she said I had Benign paroxysmal positional vertigo. I took pills that had a placebo effect for few days then it all came back. I was scared and developed anxiety and panic attacks. Went back to the doctor and she gave me antidepressants, it was the worst, the symptoms became so strong I thought I was going crazy. It didn't occur to me it could be TMS because I had TMS in the past, back pain that was very different from this and I managed to cure myself at the time thanks to Dr. Sarno books. I also had IBS and other TMS equivalents but nothing like this, ever, not so severe. Only after all of the doctor's visits and pain coming back again and again, I realised that there must be something wrong in my head. Online research and rereading Dr. Sarno books started about 2/3 weeks ago and I got better. I also started listening to the book Hope and Help for Your Nerves, that helped me a lot to understand I was hiding from the world and my fears. I got better day by day until a couple of days ago when a tension headache took over my right side of the head and doesn't want to go away. I also have pain moving around to my back, right hand, I have a tremor in my left hand now (it was in the right a few weeks ago).
I've decided to do SEP now and try and find a TMS therapist because I feel like I am not doing enough for myself and that is one of the traits of my personality. To think that I am not good enough or not doing enough. I'm scared, that's not a secret because I feel like I'm never going to be same again. Even though I know I've already done so much for myself. This is how I feel on Day 1.

 

Hi. You've done yourself a big favor by starting the SProgram. It helped me to stop having severe back and other pains, and has helped many others to heal. You've been to doctors and nothing structural has been found, so it has to be emotional, from TMS. I hope you can stop thinking you're not good enough, or not doing enough to heal from your symptoms. We have been taught to think structural all our lives, and that pills or surgery will cure us. TMS knowledge is giving us a new and better life-saver. I found that the most helpful part of the SEProgram was journaling. I discovered that I had been repressing anger since my boyhood when my parents divorced when I was seven. It left me with feelings of abandonment and insecurity. I have learned to deal with those. When you have headaches or are anxious or depressed, breathe deeply. It will relax you.

Dr. Sarno's 12 Daily Reminders about TMS are good to think about every day. I especially like the following extended version by Herbie, another member of this TMS community:

1. 
   Herbie’s Extended Version of Dr. Sarno’s 12 DAILY REMINDERS
   1. The pain is due to TMS. This is real pain or anxiety but it is caused by subconscious tensions and triggers, stressors and traits to your reactions and fears, and also when at boiling point your conscious tension can and does cause real pain too.
   2. The main reason for the pain is mild oxygen deprivation. This means that when you get in pain or in anxiety then the blood is restricted from going to a place such as the lower back. The blood being restricted causes oxygen deprivation which causes the pain. Remember, where there is no oxygen then there is pain in the body. Also, the pain stays because of fear and focus to physical organic symptoms and repressions.

TMS is a harmless condition caused by my REPRESSED EMOTIONS, so even though you think you can harm yourself from the years of pain you have felt and how you feel in general -- so far no reports have been heard from TMS healing knowledge causing damage to anyone. TMS knowledge only helps.

1. The principle emotion is your repressed ANGER. This means under your consciousness lies something that happens automatically to everyone. TMSers have repressions that are stored because of our personality traits,traumas, stressors, fears, strain, etc... When these stored repressions build and build then eventually they cause the brain to send pain into your body to keep you from having an emotional crises. The mind-body thinks it is helping you.

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1. TMS exists to DISTRACT your attentions from the emotions, stressors, tensions and strains of your personality traits because if you can get distraction then you won't have to be in emotional turmoil. When you don't face and feel your emotions and they get repressed because you didn't want to deal with something -- they are just adding up in this beaker, ready to pour over and create real pain and anxiety in your body.

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1. Since my body is perfectly normal, there is nothing to fear. So in reality when I fear the pain or anxiety I just cause myself undo strain and tension adding to the beaker of pain. If I fear then I feed the pain. If I fear It is impossible to recondition. Fear keeps the pain and anxiety alive in the body through focus.

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1. Therefore, physical activity is harmless. If I want to work against the pain, I could, but it is better to lose some of the pain.

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1. I am resuming all normal physical activity. I don't fear moving anymore. I believe in my body's ability to heal now. I can move how I want. I will not fear moving with a bent back anymore. I will also practice going out and acting normal again, not in fear of what pain might do to me.

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1. The pain is unimportant and powerless. Its only power is how it is hidden -- it's illusion; it's fear.

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10. I will keep my attention on the emotional issues. I will think about my emotions and feel my emotions throughout the day. I will not judge, criticize or fear my emotions. I will not run from my emotional issues but face everyone of them. I will feel my emotions fully and cry if I need to. Then I will release the emotion and get my mind and thoughts back to my life and living in the present, in flow.

1. 
   11. I am in control of all of this. This is how I recover.

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12. I will be thinking PSYCHOLOGICALLY AT ALL TIMES. This means I will keep my thoughts on psychological issues like happiness, fear and anger -- traits and triggers, conditioning and journaling. The science behind mind- body/TMS healing, etc.... This way I will not feed my thoughts to the body -- that is a trick of TMS. TMS will always try to get me to focus on the body caused by the pain until I break its show and flair. When I get my attention off psychical symptoms and on emotional issues and psychological issues then I will not feed the fear of the physical issues anymore, ` thus making the tms of no effect. This will in return, give you the cure.

 

sorry about the numbering. Computers sometimes have a mind of their own

 

Hi Walt and thank you so much for taking the time and sending me the extended daily reminders. The article that is part of the second Day in this programme opened my eyes a little bit more and I think the main issue is for me is the fear of not being good enough as well as expecting life to treat me better because I am a good person. I think that is why I get angry at people so much when they are being unfair. And that is something I am carrying from childhood. I always felt unwanted. Gosh, how much can one suffer from things experienced while growing up?

 

Hi again. My best friend's wife, Bonnie, always felt unwanted, and I later learned why. Her mother had rejected her and doted on Bonnie's sister. Bonnie never knew about TMS so she got psychiatric help and it "cured her."
She was even able to visit when her mother became ill and reconciled, forgiving her, before her mother died.

I don't think you need psychiatric help. Just continue in the SEprogram and journal about your feelings of not being wanted.

You might like to read this article...

Inner Child Work: 4 Healing Techniques to Rediscover Your Original Innocence

NO MATTER HOW BIG OR SMALL, ALMOST ALL OF US EXPERIENCED SOME KIND OF TRAUMA AS CHILDREN.
These traumas could vary from having your favorite stuffed toy thrown in the trash, to being abandoned by your best childhood friend, to being physically or emotionally abused by your parents.

Inner child work is a vital component of soulwork because it reconnects us with a wounded element of ourselves: the child within. When we reconnect with this fragmented part of ourselves, we can begin to discover the root of many of our fears, phobias, insecurities and sabotaging life patterns. This is where the true healing happens!

Likely, you’ll be surprised by what you discover through inner child work. Instead of simply looking at a symptom of your pain, you’ll go right to the core and reveal when a fear, phobia or certain life pattern first began.

We’ve previously written about reconnecting with your inner child in the past, and how childhood trauma impacts you on a physical, emotional, mental and even sexual level. In this article I want to expand on some powerful healing techniques that I’ve used before to soothe this delicate place within us.




TYPES OF CHILDHOOD TRAUMA
Firstly it’s important to understand that there are different types of childhood trauma. These include the physical (including sexual), emotional and mental variety. Also, when a childhood trauma is severe or repeated enough, it can result in soul loss. This is why you might need to undergo a process known in shamanic circles as “soul retrieval.” Soul retrieval is literally the process of “retrieving” the hidden, or inaccessible parts of your soul. Read more about soul retrieval.

However, not all childhood trauma results in soul loss — but they do result in a wounded psyche. This can result in issues such as depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, phobias, destructive behavioral patterns, and even chronic illnesses.

Examples of childhood trauma could include:

• Being hit or smacked by your parents/grandparents
  
  
• Having an emotionally unavailable parent who withholds affection
  
  
• Being “punished” through kicking, shaking, biting, burning, hair pulling, pinching, scratching or “washing out the mouth” with soap
  
  
• Being the recipient of molestation, shown pornography, or any other type of sexual contact from a parent, relative or friend
  
  
• Being the child of divorce
  
  
• Being given inappropriate or burdensome responsibilities (such as caring for your parents)
  
  
• Not being fed or provided a safe place to live from your parents
  
  
• Abandonment (your caretakers leaving you alone for long periods of time without a babysitter)
  
  
• Emotional neglect, i.e. not being nurtured, encouraged or supported
  
  
• Being deliberately called names or verbally insulted
  
  
• Denigration of your personality
  
  
• Destruction of personal belongings
  
  
• Excessive demands
  
  
• Humiliation
  
  
• Car accidents, or other spontaneous traumatic events
  

There are many more examples of childhood trauma, but I just wanted to provide you with a few to give you an idea of what inner child work deals with. It’s also important to remember that our parents weren’t the only ones responsible for provoking childhood trauma — our grandparents, brothers, sisters, extended family members, family friends and childhood friends may have also played a part.

WHAT IS INNER CHILD WORK?
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This leads us to exploring the definition of inner child work:

Inner child work is the process of contacting, understanding, embracing and healing your inner child. Your inner child represents your first original self that entered into this world; it contains your capacity to experience wonder, joy, innocence, sensitivity and playfulness.

Unfortunately we live in a society that forces us to repress our inner child and “grow up.” But the truth is that while most adults physically “grown up,” they never quite reach emotional or psychological adulthood. In other words, most “grown ups” aren’t really adults at all. This leaves most people in a state of puerile fears, angers and traumas that fester away in the unconscious mind for decades.

When we deny and snuff out the voice of the child within we accumulate heavy psychological baggage. This unexplored and unresolved baggage causes us to experience problems such as mental illnesses, physical ailments and relationship dysfunction.

In fact, it could be said that the lack of conscious relatedness to our own inner child is one of the major causes of the severe issues we see in today’s society. From the brutal way we treat the environment, to the cruel way we talk to ourselves, we have become completely separated from our original innocence.

4 SIMPLE WAYS TO WORK WITH YOUR INNER CHILD
Learning to work with your inner child isn’t about becoming childish again, it is about reconnecting with your childLIKE side.

In other words, there is a big difference between being childish and childlike.

Being childish can be thought of as behaving in an immature or naive way. Being childlike on the other hand, can be thought of as a state of purity and innocence.

We all have the capacity to experience our original innocence; that period in our lives when we saw the world with openness and wonder.

In order to remove the guilt, shame, fear, hatred, self-loathing and anger that we carry with us, we have to heal the child within. To do this, we must earn the trust of our inner child through love and self-nurturing.

Here are 4 of the most powerful ways to perform inner child work:




1. SPEAK TO YOUR INNER CHILD.
Acknowledge your inner child and let it know that you’re there for it. Treat it with kindness and respect.

Some self-nurturing things you could say to your inner child include, for example:

• I love you.
  
  
• I hear you.
  
  
• I’m sorry.
  
  
• Thank you.
  
  
• I forgive you.
  

Make a habit of talking to your inner child. You could also communicate through journal work by asking your inner child a question, then writing down the response.

2. LOOK AT PICTURES OF YOURSELF AS A CHILD.
Go through old photo albums and rediscover what your younger self looked like. Let that image be burned into your brain because it will serve you well throughout the rest of your inner child work. You might even like to put photos of yourself next to your bedside table, in your wallet, or around the house just to remind yourself of your inner child’s presence.

3. RECREATE WHAT YOU LOVED TO DO AS A CHILD.
Sit down and think about what you loved to do as a child. Maybe you liked climbing trees, playing with toy blocks, cuddling toy bears or eating warm porridge. Make time to include whatever activity you loved to do as a child in your present life.

Through inner child work, people have told me that they’ve connected to sides of themselves that they never even knew existed as adults. This discovery is truly life-changing. It’s important that you make a habit of this “play time” and explore any embarrassment or silliness you feel towards it. It’s completely normal to feel a bit foolish at first, but it’s important to keep an open mind.

4. DO AN INNER JOURNEY.
One of the most powerful ways to reconnect with your inner child to heal childhood traumas, is to do an inner journey.

For beginners, I recommend two types of inner journeys: those done through meditation, and those done through visualization.

In order to do these inner journeys it is important that you first gain the trust of your inner child through the previous activities. Once you have developed a strong connection to your inner child, you can then ask it to reveal what earlier life circumstances created the trauma you’re struggling with today.

HOW TO DO A MEDITATION JOURNEY:
Connecting to your inner child through meditation is a passive process: simply breathe deeply, relax, allow yourself to witness your thoughts, and ask your question. For example, you might like to ask, “Dear inner child, when was the first time I experienced trauma in my life?”

Allow yourself to witness the thoughts that rise and fall within your mind. Your inner child may or may not decide to reveal the answer to you. Remember to be patient, loving and accepting. If your inner child doesn’t want to reveal the answer, embrace that. It’s important that your inner child feels safe, secure, and ready.

You might like to repeat your question every now and then if nothing of significance arises inside of your mind. This process could take anywhere from a couple of minutes to 1 hour or more.

Tips — In order to do the inner child meditation journey, you’ll need to have experience meditating. Learning to witness your thoughts can take a lot of practice, so if you’re not used to meditating, you might struggle with this technique.

HOW TO DO A VISUALIZATION JOURNEY:
A more active way to connect with your inner child and earlier life traumas is through visualization.

To connect with your inner child through visualization, you must create a “power place” or safe place. To do this you must visualize a beautiful garden, or any type of place in which you feel safe, empowered and whole. After entering your power place, you can then invite your inner child to speak with you.

Here are a few steps:

THE SOULWORK COLORING EBOOK:
Stimulate mind-body awakening with our printable art therapy Coloring Book. Connect with your Soul through the power of sacred geometry!

• Relax, close your eyes and breathe deeply.
  
  
• Imagine you’re walking down a staircase.
  
  
• At the bottom of the staircase is your power place, or safe place. In this place you feel strong, safe and supported.
  
  
• Spend a bit of time in your power place. Soak it in. What does it look like, smell like and sound like?
  
  
• After you have acquainted yourself with your power place, imagine that your younger self has entered, perhaps through a door or waterfall.
  
  
• Hug your younger self and make them feel home.
  
  
• When you’re ready, ask your inner child your question, e.g. “When was the first time you/I felt sad or scared?” You might like to phrase the question in child terminology.
  
  
• Await their response.
  
  
• Make sure you hug them, thank them, and tell them how much they mean to you.
  
  
• Say goodbye to them.
  
  
• Leave your power place and ascend up the stairs.
  
  
• Return to normal consciousness.
  

These are very basic steps, but they provide a good outline of how to perform an inner child visualization journey.

***

As children we perceived the world very differently from our adult selves. Because of this, many of the things we presently assume never hurt us as children may have left deep scars. This is why it’s important to never make assumptions about your inner child.

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Through inner child work, you can learn to grieve, heal and resolve any sources of trauma you’ve been unconsciously holding on to for years. This can liberate you and allow you to live a life of true adulthood, emotional balance and wellbeing.

 

Hi Walt, thanks again, this is very helpful. I was unlucky because my father died before we managed to talk about things and the family I grew up in was a type of family that never ever talked about any kind of issues. I was continuously told that I was unplanned and my parents also used that phrase when they introduced me to people. I don't think they were aware of what is it going to do to me. I wasn't aware until many years later. There was a book that I read once by Richard Bach (Running from Safety) about how he made a promise to himself as a child. He never kept that promise and the child came knocking at his psychological door many years later. It is very interesting and I'm using some of the ways he talked to the child within him to talk to mine. Because you cannot talk to that child using adult's language. Maybe your friend will find this book useful too.

 

I wish you could find a way to accept the unhappy childhood and go on from there. Anger and resentment will just stay with you and cause physical and emotional stress. Try to live in the present moment.

My father used to put me down in front of his male friends. I never knew why, but it left me with feelings of inferiority. Thank God going to college and achieving after that made me think better of myself, but I don't think I ever got over my father treating me like he did. I journaled and learned that he must have had his own TMS issues and forgave him.