Day 1

So, like a bunch of other folks, I am jumping in. It's not my first time in the pool. I did a prior 30 day run and had some relief. But I don't think I fully bought into the TMS concept. I think I was half or 75% percent sure and I know that does not work. This time I am hoping for better.

My story is this: way too much death around me for how old I am. In my 50's (where i still am), I have lost my wife, brother, his wife, and a close friend, all of whom were also in their 50s. My Dad is also dying and my Mom passed a while back. I feel like I have nothing left. I am sure this is causing quite stir in my subconscious with the resulting physical symptoms.

I have been the classic TMSer my whole life, with symptoms that I now understand intellectually were generated by a process that began in my mind. I had the stomach issues for years, allergies, back pain, knee pain, plantar facitus, etc. I muscled through it all, basically not complaining but never really feeling well. I just kept going.

When I first picked up Healing Back Pain last year I realized (again, intellectually) that there may be way to a better place. I realized that a variety of psychological factors were likely the source of my distress, not deadly disease, structural problems, etc.

I have followed Dr. Sarno's advice and sought medical advice to make sure this is the case. I was recently experiencing numbness in my toes and hands and after freaking out that it was MS or ALS, I had all the required tests done and I am fine...from a structure standpoint. My neurologist was great. She actually explained in her words the mechanics of how rage and other emotional stress could be causing the nerve symptoms I am feeling. She was quite comforting.

Still, I have a ways to go. The symptoms persist and I know that I have to do spelunking into my subconscious. I was hoping to send a canary down first but I think I need to do it. So here I go.

 

Hi, Normanator. Welcome to this TMS healing community. All the deaths you've mentioned may be making you depressed. It's good that had a medical checkup and nothing structural was found wrong with you. I think the neurologist put her finger on the problem. You will find journaling to be very helpful. I'm 87 and two years ago healed from severe back pain when I read Healing Back Pain and discovered I had been repressing anger after my parents divorced when I was seven. It left me with feelings of abandonment and insecurity. Journaling helped to realize they must have had TMS and pains of their own. Be patient in the SEProgram. I love your analogy of the canary. You're right that you have to do this yourself. But you are not alone. We help each other. I read that today, 50 is the old 30 or something like that. You may very well live to be 100, so half of your life could be still ahead of you.