Day 1

Day 1

I have complete acceptance of the theory of TMS. I believe this is the most important thing I will ever learn. No matter if my symptoms are structural or psychosomatic, the principles I learn about TMS can help me in either case. Pain is simply all in our minds. It does not truly exist. Fear does. I hope to ultimately conquer my fears!

My worry is because I have an odd/weird set of symptoms that affect my life on every level, I still have doubts about what it might or could be. Not having any real, concrete diagnosis from 15+ doctors/specialists over the past 2 years makes it harder for me to not worry. The best diagnosis I received was that it was psychosomatic. That was really tough to accept at first but it led me down this path. I'm grateful for that.

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Basically I endured/ignored the symptoms of a 5 year "nervous breakdown"; now, while I am "better" than before, I have incredible bodily and stomach pain and a general feeling of being sick WHILE and DURING and THROUGH my sleep, like I'm being poisoned. Plus vivid disturbing dreams all night and major catathrenia (breath holding with a very slow exhale). Also I have an electric vibrating sensation through my body upon waking. It's insane. Not sleeping well for 2 years is tough. I feel like I have a hangover many mornings and I don't drink! Stress causes huge downgrades in my healing process and things have been very stressful in my city (California Thomas fire survivor!) and in my home (mom to a teenage daughter) lately. Hard to catch a break.