Day 1

36 male, have had a childhood history of anxiety mostly due to not fitting in and Religious affiliations preaching fire and brimstone. I developed a phobia of planes flying over head thinking war was about to break out everytime I heard a jet. Have always been a person who only had 1-2 friends, introvert but no real problems public speaking growing up. Always felt something was missing in life, maybe companionship. Went to college had no real issues but wished I knew if I could have gone elsewhere. During grad school I experienced high anxiety fight flight, followed by a messy break up and leaving on bad terms. 2 years later first panic attack and started to hyperfocus on health issues. Managed to keep it at bay with exercise and meditation.

In new relationship since 2014, rocky start and my insecurities. 2015 job interview of a life time, was passed over and continue to struggle financially. Developed resentment and low self esteem after. June of that year my symptoms started, twinges in my abdomen while working a dead end job.

Things spiralled out of control with trying to find out what was happening while getting more symptoms. 2017 I discover TMS and do the Pain Recovery program. It's been 3 months and i feel great compared to before.

Still gave challenges and new symptoms currently urge to urinate. I'm journaling and finding lots of emotional causes to be most likely. Some old insecurities and new changes that somewhat resemble old situations and have raised my old fears about relationship, job and fitting in.

Every time, this program has worked but I get some doubts if it will work with each new symptom. It always does. I have to remember it's not really about the symptom but about an underlying fear of emotion, the symptom is there to create fear and distract.