Day 1

Hi my name is Mike, I’m 46 married with 2 kids, 2 jobs and I’m 99% sure I have TMS. Looking back I’ve had some weird health issues that revolved around particularly stressful points in my life but things started getting really weird last February when I went on a ski strip with a bunch of people I didn’t know and that first night I noticed that I couldn’t stop peeing. I peed 5 or 8 times just that night and throughout the trip I was peeing 8-15 times during the day. Looking back now I realize this was a very stressful point in my life and combined with my social anxiety ramped the TMS up. After that trip my peeing subsided a bit, but I was still peeing 3-5 times a night and 6-10 times during the day. Needless to say, I wasn’t sleeping much. I also developed a nagging pain in my right lower abdomen that would randomly come and go. After a few months of this I decide to get checked out. My doctor diagnosed me with Prostatitis and sent me off with a prescription for Cipro. I felt like the Cirpo was working for a little bit but then my peeing got worse to the point that I was peeing 15-20 times a day but only a little at a time. Then one day it got really bad and I felt that I had to take an emergency pee all the time but when I did only an once or two would come out. I couldn’t sleep for 3 days. (Looking back this was also a high stress time and the constant need to pee made it worse). So now I’m back into with the doctor and he says my prostate is huge, you have BPH and prescribed me Flomax. The relentless need to pee took 3 weeks to subside to a tolerable level and I started feeling good enough to start exercising again but after a few weeks the shit really hit the fan. I started feeling like I was constipated all the time and the pain started getting worse and worse. I went back to the doctor and he said I had prostatitis again and put me on Bactin but the pain wasn’t getting better, it was getting way worse. At one point it felt like a red-hot poker was being shoved up my butt. The pain was very intense. I couldn’t sleep more than an hour a day for 3 days. I finally got back in the see the doctor and he had no explanation. I was googling my symptoms all day and night and I was coming up with all kinds of terrible diseases. I ended up focusing in on Chronic Pelvic Pain which seamed to match my symptoms the best. During the next week or so the pain subsided a bit and I started reading a few books on pelvic pain. I started reading A Headache in the Pelvic and it made perfect sense that my pelvic pain was cause by stress. I felt like the book would help me out until I got to the section of paradoxical relaxation which I was supposed to do for 4 hours a day. I though there’s no way I can do that, and I noticed that my pain immediately ramped back up. In retrospect this was a pivotal point in my recovery because it finally confirmed that my issues were stressed related. After that I decided to start taking it easier on myself and work less. I started mindful meditation which I believe helped to reduce my overall stress. I also finally got in to see the urologist who confirmed that my prostate and labs all looked normal. He said I was high stress individual, suggest yoga and referred me to a pelvic floor physical therapist. My PT postulated that my pelvic pain was a function of patellofemoral knee injury that I suffered doing squats earlier in the year and that my pelvic floor was now overcompensating. This sounded logical to me. Over the course of a few months I felt better and better and my pain was in the 1-2 range for a while. My PT had me doing minor strength work on my knee but if felt as though it was aggravating my pelvic floor muscles more. After a few weeks my pain was back in the 3-4 range and I feared it was getting worse. I decided to give the PT a break for a day. I’ve had Dr. Saros book, Heeling Back Pain on my desk for 2 months and decided to give it a read. I read the first 60 pages and like everyone says, I saw myself on every page. My pain also dropped to a 1-2 that night! The next day I finished the book and restarted my knee exercises although at only 50%. The next day I ramped my knee exercised up 100% and the today I bumped it up 150%. Today my pelvic pain is down to a 1 but I noticed that my sciatica on my other butt cheek has ramped up a bit. I’ve had sciatica for the last 5 year on and off which I’m also pretty sure is related to TSM. Also 2 years ago I also started having this weird cold weather induced rhinitis which coats the back of my throat with phlegm. It only happened in the winter and gets better in the summer. Could this also be related to TSM? Looking back ten years or so I recall when I was getting prepped for minor elbow surgery and I had to pee 3 times in 10 minutes I think this is the earliest I can correlate a TSM effect. So here I am today. I’m feeling very hopeful that I’m on the road to recovery. I stopped doing all the stretches and foam rolling that the pelvic pain books suggested. I also stopped taking Flomax yesterday which I have to admit I’m a little worried about. I’m also planning on going on a long run on Friday and for a long bike ride on the weekend which I’ve been scared to do for months now. Altogether, I’m so happy I discovered Heeling Back Pain. I also feel that I’m one of the lucky ones for discovering the book early on when some of the poor people on here have had debilitating pain for decades.

 

Hi Mike...as you go through the program and learn more about TMS, you will see a whole slew of symptoms that can be related. Dr. Sarno talks a lot about patterns and conditioning, where your brain can learn to cause certain symptoms at certain times (like rhinitis in the winter). It is of course possible that something about the winter bothers you, but with all symptoms, look for any inconsistencies in their presentation that can be indicative of TMS.

Don't worry if you don't have the confidence to drop all meds etc. right away. I felt 90% better within 3 days of learning about TMS, but it still took me 6 months to get rid of the last supplement I was taking. For the record, it was magnesium for constipation, and my bowel movements improved as soon as I stopped. You want to be able to truthfully say to yourself you know the medicine/supplement is not needed. If the back of your mind has a little worry though, that is totally fine. Good luck!

 

Since reading the book almost 2 weeks ago I’ve had so many weird symptoms pop up. My anxiety and insomnia have increased up until 2 days ago and has since subsided. I’ve also had a few tension headaches which I haven’t had for about ten years. My sciatica and abdominal pain has increased and yesterday my back went out. On a positive note my pelvic pain has decreased and is almost non-existent. I really feel like my mind is f@cking with me. It doesn’t like me journaling and accessing my emotions but its going to get use to it.

 

You are correct! Your brain very much wants you to stop. If it thinks the pelvic pain is no longer working, it will quickly move to something else. You've got it "on the run" as Dr. Schubiner says. 2 days after I learned about TMS, my symptoms all went haywire too. They would come and go in 20 minutes spurts. Then, around day 4, I "hurt" my back moving my mattress (convenient since that's how my dad set off a year of back pain). It ached for a week, but nothing too terrible. I knew it was all shenanigans as there was no real "ouch!" moment.

Extinction bursts/symptom imperative/symptom substitution...whatever you call it, is very common. If you want some reading on the topic, the links below are good. Since you know it's all shenanigans, do your best to laugh at it. Just make sure to remind yourself that it all caused by your brain and nothing to fear. Even if you feel a little scared (you can't really control that), just do your best to keep your thoughts on the reality that you are not actually hurt or sick.

http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/day-19-extinction-bursts.16651/ (New Program - Day 19: Extinction Bursts)
https://www.unlearnyourpain.com/blog/mbs17-why-symptoms-move-and-change-a-look-at-symptom-substitution/ (Chronic Pain Relief» Blog Archive » MBS#17–Why symptoms move and change? A look at symptom substitution)

 

Thanks for the support and references sslx4000 - I very much hope this is the beginning of the extinction burst but if not I'm prepared to go the distance.