Day 1 Day 1

I have had chronic pain in both my wrists since the end of 2013, when I was 16. My right wrist is worse than my left wrist. The pain goes up my arm to my elbows. The pain has gotten progressively worse since I first felt it.

When I first saw a rheumatologist for the pain in 2013, he told me I had RSI, gave me a few exercises, and told me that I’d just have to live with it. The only other thing he recommended was an injection. I then had a blood cancer scare, and my wrists weren’t a priority.

It wasn’t until 2018 that I tried to find an alternate way out of the pain. I saw an osteopath, who assigned me exercises. They seemed to make me feel better, but my wrists still got worse. I developed pain in the right side of my neck as well. My osteopath was giving up on me and I was frustrated. He was my only lead and it took me a while to finally give up on him too. However, it still helped me to see my condition in a different way, and was an important step for me.

I began doing pilates, and these exercises helped me feel strong again. Even if they weren’t necessarily curing my pain, they made me feel less weak and more purposeful. I had massages, and talked to a masseuse whose mother had surgery for her RSI. She told me that the surgery is gruesome and to never resort to it. I saw a hand physio, but she recommended a bunch of gadgets to set up my workspace, and I never got around to it.

But because of all these leads, I was still in a better space about my wrists. If I googled RSI, I used to go into a panic reading stories of atrophied muscles. I was finally comfortable enough to google it without feeling my heart drop and feeling like I would be stuck in this rut forever. And while googling it one day, I found out about Sarno. I’ve read his book and I find it inspiring. I love how he tells us to view ourselves as healthy and strong, unlike what the medical world has told us.

Now when I look back at the times that my wrists got worse, they were all times of high stress, and high pressures that I placed on myself. I hate being dependant on others as well, which is exactly what the pain has caused me to do. There are many tasks at work that I can’t do with my current pain and have to delegate to others. This additional frustration creates a vicious loop.

I am now 23. Currently, it hurts to type this post. I love writing and drawing, and the thought of one day being able to make art pain free is almost scary because of how much it means to me. I am working on dispelling the negative conditioning that has ruled my adult life so far. I am so ready to try.

 

Starling, I am glad that you have started the program. Both the book and program helped me tremendously. I am currently dealing with symptoms and am having to deal with whatever it is that is holding me back, both emotionally and mentally, but I know that this method work - it has worked for me several times over the years.

You are so young and it is inspiring to hear your story because I know that you will come out of this stronger than ever and you able to do what you love (write and draw) pain free.

Thank you for sharing and best of luck on your journey!

 

Hi Josh,

Thank you for the support and the kind words. It's so reassuring to talk with others who have improved as well. I feel that being aware of my frustrations is already making me that little bit stronger. Thank you

 

Hi Starling,
It seems you're putting so many of the pieces of this TMS diagnosis together for yourself. Bravo!

Yes, this reminds me of my fear, sparked by the cautions of the "experts" who looked at my feet. The whole medical anxiety is an addictive dead-end. I remember pushing very hard on my feet one night when I got lost in the mud on my bike, and thinking "Oh, this is horrible; this could really hurt my feet, because I have not used my muscles like this for over 3 years!" Then I realized this thinking was a belief, taken on from the "experts," and I relaxed. The next day my feet were fine. It was one of those important mile-stones on the road to recovery.

Good luck in your journey!

Andy

 

Hi Andy,

Thank you for the support! Yes, I can still feel myself stumbling sometimes over what medical professionals have ingrained into me, that my wrists are weak. It's so good to read your story too, thank you for sharing.