Day 1 Day 1

I've been in pain for a looooong time. Started when I was in a high level stressful job and my marriage wasn't so great. I am a very private person so it's hard to write this. I don't like putting myself out there. I'm not an introvert, the opposite but my challenges are of an intimate nature, interstitial cystitis and vulvodynia. I guessed no one knows me here so why not write this. My life revolves around my symptoms. I don't work because of them. I need to pee a lot, hurts to sit, stand, sitting in car is the worst...... I'm very social too and have backed out of things quite a lot. Sleep was my favourite pastime but that now is being interrupted. My mind is always, it seems focussed on the pain and the need to pee that I can't really focus on anything else. I design t-shirts but my pain etc has been pretty bad that I've stopped that and basically am doing not much of anything.

I've known about TMS for a long time but dismissed it. I've seen so many drs, specialists, physiotherapists, psychologists.........been given drugs, more drugs.....A few have used the word psychosomatic.

TMS came up in a FB group I'm in. It resonated so I watched a few clips of Dan Buglio. Wow. This was 3 days ago. I've been reading since then and my study led me here. Yesterday afternoon I listened to a podcast by Dan Buglio, and started day 1 of the structured program. Felt amazing. Soothed my pain. Asked myself what emotion is going on here? This morning I was even able to go back to sleep. I also went to the shops, normally I would have to visit the loo. Tapped my leg and told myself I'm ok, you're safe, all is well when those thoughts arose. It's TMS. I'm in control not my subconscious. Think psychologically not physically. What's going on in your head right now to give you this pain? At one point I realised after asking what emotions are at play that I was tense, anxious and felt fearful. I stopped and took a deep breath, spoke to my body. I'm not driving at the moment because I'm recovering from a broken fibula. Wish I started this journey then. Even driving in my partner's car today was ok. I congratulated myself when I got home. He's wonderful, welcoming and enthusiastic for me to take this journey. I also have an amazing close group of friends who accept me completely and who I know will cheer me on.

I feel motivated and hopeful. I'm also committed to recovering, learning, gaining knowledge and techniques to rewire my thoughts. I'm having an awesome day today. Hope you are too.

 

Nice to see you found courage to write anyway! It is needed a lot also when you explore your true emotions.

I would say its not uncommon among sufferers to have intimate symptoms. I have had pelvic pains, urgency too pee, IBS etc.
Intimate symptoms have a tendency to really really catch once attention, since that is an area you don't want problems with.

I understand it would have been easier to share if you just had back pain or similar, so thank you for being brave.

Keep us posted!

 

Only took me 24 hours to think on it. To be honest I have no idea how to reply with quotes like you did. It's a bit foreign to me being on a forum. Thanks for your response. Hope you're having a great day.

 

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Thank you. .