Day 1

I married my wife 15 years ago and I knew in my heart it was the wrong thing to do. But I loved her, and loved being with her and had a dream that our lives were made for each other. We went skiing on our honeymoon and on day two I took a funny fall, feeling like I landed on my tailbone. About 30 minutes later the muscles around my lower spine completely compressed and everything locked. I came home from our honeymoon and went straight to all the doctors, physical therapists, masseuse, reiki, voodoo… anything & everything. Nothing helped and after a year or so I went under the knife. The herniated disc was cut out and I was on my way to recovery. Except I kept throwing out my back. That’s when healing the back was introduced. I was a changed man. I knew that I was the type of person to repress everything and as I read and practiced Sarno’s mantras I felt like I had fully recovered. Jogging, skiing, lifting weights, .. doing it all and living the life. Cut to today. 15 years later and I find myself in more pain that I’ve ever had. And guess what? I’m going through a divorce and I’m just coming out as gay. I have been repressed for over 30 years. A long time and a lot of feelings repressed. As I come to friends and family my pain subsides but than returns the next day. It’s pretty bad right now, the struggle is real but I know what I gotta do and will for sure come out that other side. Thanks for reading.