Day 1 Day 1

Ever wonder about the average length of time devoted to writing and editing posts on this forum? All I can picture is a bunch of people hunched over a keyboard, decorated in icepacks/heating packs/support braces repeatedly rewriting their post and abusing their Roget Thesaurus to ensure their intellectual presentation to a bunch of strangers irrelevant to their likelihood of being hired/fired is sound.

Anyway, on to Day 1 business: I am probably at a mid-level of acceptance of my self-diagnosis of TMS. I have had over five years of chronic elbow tendinitis in both arms that appeared to be a result of laptop computer overuse. I no longer type-- I use dictation software and learned to use the computer mouse with my foot. However the pain remained. I have tried two different physical therapists, trigger point self-treatment with tennis balls, cortisone injections, prolotherapy, hormone therapy, massage therapy, acupuncture, an elimination diet, and even drinking breastmilk (Based on the hypothesis I may have an autoimmune disorder from reading this and other articles: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/02/03/magazine/the-boy-with-a-thorn-in-his-joints.html?_r=0).

Like anyone with chronic pain, I have repeatedly gotten my hopes deliriously raised and then dashed, so as I noted earlier, I am only at a mid-level of acceptance regarding TMS. However, I have the history of chronic migraines and some of the personality characteristics consistent with TMS including an inner pageant-parent voice doling out brutal criticism and accomplishment-based love, the extreme prioritization of others’ reactions to me over my own well-being, and a pretty high, non-clinical level of hypochondria.

I have the standard fears and doubts that this will be another failed experiment and that even if I do have TMS that I will be unable to successfully persuade myself that emotional torment is the root of my physical pain. However, a life without TMS would mean I could play the violin again, run without plantar fasciitis or back pain, pick up new forms of exercise and physical hobbies without fearing the sudden manifestation of a new form of pain, type again, lift and carry heavy things and loved ones, and hopefully develop the ability to pay attention to life rather than my running monologue (and thus have a functioning memory), and fall asleep without the need for sleeping pills or alcohol to release the tension in my chest and voices in my head.

 

Good luck. You seem to be self aware and insightful. I am on Day 6 and it is an up and down process. I have pain that moves all over my body. Makes me think I am crazy sometimes. Wishing you the best

 

Hi Swandive! Welcome to the course! I've been tremendously helped with reading Sarno's books and many others listed on this forum. I have had pretty good success with the TMS diagnosis and treatment. But I've just uncovered another layer of disbelief when I realized that I still baby my back when i get in the car because of TMS pain. I'm keep trying to deepen the Belief part that my brain and suppressed emotions are causing the pain that is left. I'm positive that if you finish this course and do the homework, you will have relief and know so much more about what makes you tick and tock. Looking forward to hearing more from you!

 

Thank you, Swandive, for your entertaining post. I know it's not very entertaining to you! I can relate to "hopes deliriously raised". Through 7 years, 4 spine surgeries and every treatment modality know to man, I encountered that phenomenon myself. However, when I stumbled into Dr. John Sarno about 2 months-ago, I was euphoric. I recognized myself. I had given up any hope of retrieving my old life and was coping very successfully with my "new normal". "Ha!", as nowtimecoach says. Now, here was hope again and I was going for it, honey. Nobody get between me and Dr. Sarno.

The fear of deluding myself (again) did come up but not often and not for long.

Oh, guess what? My layers of pain are falling away. I have thrown down my (figurative) crutches and I am walking again (and sitting and lifting weights and DANCING). In fact, just got back from an hour of ballroom/latin practice. Tomorrow, I take my first Tai Chi class. I'm planning a trip to Italy (now I can sit long enough to fly.)

So, now let's see about your fear of looking foolish. Hummm. How hard a decision is this? Read a book, run risk of looking foolish but potentially get your life back. Is this a hard decision?

Can't wait to read your progress notes. Keep posting. I'll be looking for you!

 

Thanks everyone for your support! I'm glad to hear from people down the line that although odd new pains will appear and old pains re-emerge, that the program is still worth the effort. I likewise feel a little crazy with new upper back pain emerging, and can't even begin to imagine how many physical movements I will realize I have modified to accomodate pain and need to stop. And MaryBox, you are right, what is there to lose?

 

You answered your own question above swandive, I thought what you said about sweating over the post was funny -- cool. Anyways when you get back to doing what you love to do that's when you will begin to heal. This isn't big words here ok -- its pretty simple stuff, just nothing we've ever been taught in this manner before ya know.
All those things above that your longing to get back to doing is setting there waiting on you and you are the one holding yourself back with your anxious thoughts and your fear thoughts and worries. You loose those three things through re-conditioning you will be fine. That means you have to stay with the program at least 30 days or more to start seeing a difference ya know. You didn't learn how to spell in a day and you're not going to heal in a day although some do most of us aren't that lucky although I wish everyone could but that's not the point for now. For now you have to get your nerves under control and those sounds you hear -- you have to learn how to control all of those sounds, like the beating of your heart and voices ya know. Ones kinesthetic and the other is auditorial but in time you should learn the SEP first then the tms program would be a great addition to your program. Look up the Claire Weekes audios here and listen to them, learn to turn your fears into victories.

Sound like a victory speech -- well if you read between the lines you'll see im saying you have the power to control your thoughts thus controlling your autonomic nervous system indirectly ok, that's how we heal. It will take at least thirty days as I said above, 1 week is just getting to know the ropes ok. You have to do this for you. I know you've heard it all before -- we all have. Although the difference is we can back it up with real life. I myself have never been that much with computers although I love them now -- most my life I have studied psychology for the higher learnings. And construction here in Rome Ga. Although I no longer do construction since I've been enlightened by being healed with Sarno's protocol and adding in my own styles and protocols.

Don't get into to much learning all at once cause that will cause you to get nervous or confused too so you need to stick with 1 page a day, 1 lesson at a time and let it build to your own system that fits your personality.

When I get tension and yes I still get tension sometimes I always feel it in my chest and throat and face, that's normal but you can learn styles like focusing that will help you in that area plus the word mindfulness should be in your learnings but remember to take your time and let this knowledge therapy sink in ok and you will do fine. If you get in a rush then you'll go backwards like you've always done and that's not what you want.

I have lots to talk to you about and there's many more peers here that will help you along the way. Stay course, you will not be disappointed although it tarry wait for it and it will surly come.
Bless You