Day 1 Day 1

Hi-about 10 years ago I was told that I had rheumatoid arthritis. Based on some earlier immune issues I wasn't able to take the standard conventional drugs, but suppressing my immune system never felt right to me anyway. So I began my exploration of every alternative therapy under the sun, in the hopes that I could find someone to ‘fix me”. What I discovered a few years ago, when it got to the point that I was literally paralyzed with fear, was that I had to fix me from the inside-I'm sure that's no surprise to you all. I have spent the past 4 years in therapy with a wonderfully holistic and spiritual therapist, practicing meditation, prayer, a multitude of affirmations and journaling and have made terrific strides emotionally-working on childhood issues that lead to an eating disorder, and after adding some other subconscious change modalities in the past few months I now function at a much higher level. Basically I am trying to ask myself each day, “how will I live this day like my prayers have already been answered even if it’s painful or uncomfortable?” More recently someone introduced me to Dr. Sarno’s books and this world of TMS. I’m learning to trust the process of life and I know things come to us when they’re supposed to but I couldn’t believe that I had missed all of this! Even though I’ve always believed this journey was about changing my heart and not healing my body and even though my therapist has been telling from day one that I somatize my emotions, it didn’t all come together as a cohesive story until I started delving into this information. Specifically when I read that there was an actual term for the insanity I have experienced as I’ve observed physical symptoms pop up and alternate and recede, etc, etc----The Symptom Imperative! I think that even my therapist thought I was little loony. Yeah!-I’m not crazy!! I could have an arthritic symptom like a big swollen knee and then feel like a cold was coming on and the knee swelling would resolve and the cold would go away and the swelling comes back and on and on and on… And now I know I’m not alone ---what a blessing. I’ve been unpacking my history for some time now but obviously my unconscious is still hiding something. I hope this program and this forum help me to uncover whatever it is so I can let my mind know the jig is finally up!

 

KIM Mc you got it, you have the right ideas -- The jig is up. Welcome aboard.
Bless You

 

Welcome to the forum Kim… this program did wonders for me in terms of uncovering anxieties, fears and anger that lay beneath the TMS pain. I"m in the middle of the symptom imperative process and am so grateful for the heads up because otherwise I would have just thought it was some weird structural thing happening with my knees. Now I can be 'happy' that its the TMS on the run. I have 'happy' in quotes because I NEVER like experiencing pain!

 

Thanks so much for your words and support. Pain is such a funny thing isn't it? When you take away its story with all the hopelessness and heart palpitations you're just left with this sensation, you know what I mean? Maybe my body experiences pain so that I could learn to breathe. I never really breathed until this happened

 

Hi Kim,
You are going on an amazing journey. It is very exciting to have you here. please keep us updated on your progress.

 

Hi Kim Mc,
I think your quote above is pure genius. It is our judgments about the sensations occurring in our bodies that lead to suffering. I guess this can be applied to everything we experience.

Welcome to the forum! You will find many wise, compassionate people here to support you on your journey. Wishing you all the best....

 

Thank you both so much for your support. Stella, by any chance are you the same person that is the contact for the Kansas City TMS group?

 

I love this quote, Awesome. Thanks

 

I guess that's just another way of looking at Dr. Sarno's prescription of going back to your normal activity, though for some reason I've been pretty selective about it. It must be Mr. Fear still hanging around. For some reason I think that writing on this site helps with that underlying fear-thanks so much

 

Have you checked in to hear the Claire Weekes Audios? She's very good with fear or anxiety. This journey is about changing your heart so give her a go. Let me know and I will post them for you if you need ok, I'm not sure if you already listened to them, you are doing great.

 

I don't know about those. Should I look for them on this website?

 

This is her Audios here, it should help you a lot. Thanks
These audio recordings of Claire Weekes have gotten me through a lot.

http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/claire-weekes-audio.2569/

Thanks