Day 1 Day 1

Hi all,

I've been struggling with back pain for the last three years, and had other unexplained pains that began before that. At its worst, my back, hips, legs and feet hurt almost all the time. These pains began around the time that I began to become serious about life--trying to live it the way I thought the world wanted me to. Sometimes I would become more care-free and the pains would improve or go away, but I never really tied the emotional aspect to the pain aspect.

When the back pain was added into the mix several years ago, it was relentless--it never improved. I'm the type that always tried to bull through pain and I went with this strategy, but never took care of myself emotionally. At one point I was doing a tremendous amount of physical activity (many times twice per day): mountain biking, swimming, running, and whitewater kayaking. I believed that if I trained hard enough my body would heal. However, I couldn't sit, stand or lay down for very long, my mind was racing, I couldn't sleep and I was an emotional wreck. I finally nearly (or completely?) broke down. I couldn't push any more physically or mentally. I sought psychological and physical therapy (PT, chiropractic work, podiatrists, foam rolling, massage, myofascial release, more PT, acupunture) and treated it as if I had two separate problems.

I believe I made a lot of progress with the psychological therapy (but my recent readings have made me realize that there is more to go--I still have emotions I haven't dealt with), but almost no progress on the physical front (in spite of slowing down a lot, giving up running, giving up swimming and trying to rest more). Finally, in September of last year I had a kayaking accident that put me into surgery and sidelined me for the winter. I was determined to focus on my back and physical well-being while I was out. My first effort was rest--it was needed, but did way less for me that I thought it should. My next effort was nutrition--it helped and has become an important part of my life, but I was still in pain.

Finally, I picked up a copy of Sarno's Healing Back Pain that I had purchased over a year ago and hadn't bothered to read much of it. I guess I wasn't ripe for it until now (I guess I had to spend thousands and see first-hand that the chiropractors, acupuncturists, massage therapists, PTs, etc weren't fixing the problem).

I read the book and this time it clicked. I've done lots of thinking and more reading (a lot of this website) and am committing myself to the structured education program. My pain has improved a lot and this morning I went on a short 1 mile run (the first in a long, long time). Much of the time, I feel like I buy the TMS diagnosis 100%. However, I had some anxiety before my run this morning that my feet and hip would hurt, but I made myself go. There was some slight, minor pain, but I reminded myself it was emotionally rooted and pushed through.

Looking forward to understanding and being better to myself and saying goodbye to unneeded, emotionally rooted pain forever.

 

NCoutdoors you are well on your way. You are looking to the emotional side, that is the way to heal. Don't fear or focus on the pain, pick up some of the goals that you might have had for years and get ready to do them after the pain subside. You whole goal here is to live your best life now. You will heal well, stay course.
Bless You