Day 1

My story is probably not unique but here it goes! I first experienced a crippling back pain in 2009. I am an exercise instructor in my spare time and on a Saturday morning I was teaching a tough boot camp-style class. I jumped up, landed, and WHAM! I felt something horrid in my lower back. And I was only 20 minutes into a 60 minute class. With very little choice, I kept teaching and (somehow) made it through. When I came home I took a nap, thinking the rest would help relieve my pain. To my horror when I woke up I couldn't move. I was…just…stuck! I somehow crawled to my phone and called a friend. She recommended acupuncture and I called to get an appointment. To my great relief, the acupuncture was a big help and I was able to move again. I had a few small bouts of pain about once a year and faithfully went to the acupuncturist each time.

I seemed to be doing fine, but was nevertheless lucky to run into a friend who heard about my infrequent bouts with back pain. She gave me a copy of Dr. Sarno's book, Healing Back Pain. It sat on my shelf for a long time. I finally picked it up when another episode came on and I was instantly converted. TMS. Yup, I had that. It was like Dr. Sarno was speaking about me. So many of his examples were just like my own experiences and the personality traits were spot on. I was able to "be cured" for many years just by reading the book. It was great.

THEN, about two months ago, I was in another gym class (not mine this time) and experienced a terrible spasm of pain while doing a weighted squat. I hobbled my way home. Again, I couldn't move and was completely bedridden for a day. Bending forward? As if! Any forward movement literally brought tears to my eyes. I scheduled another acupuncture appointment but it didn't seem to provide relief. I knew what I was experiencing (TMS) but I didn't seem to be able to "think the pain away" as I had before. After a few days the pain subsided (phew!) and I regained movement. I started doing some yoga, hoping that the stretching and mind/body "stuff" and relaxation would help me. The yoga is fantastic, but it turns out, not enough...

About a week ago I started experiencing pain again. Ugh. I know why and I can easily list out all the anxiety and stress in my life (work and personal) and all the ways I repress and actively don't "feel my feelings" or express my emotions (and really never have). I don't want to live like this!

I have started rereading Dr. Sarno's book and stumbled upon this website and program. Alright then: let's do it and kick this back pain for good!

 

Take your time you will heal. I have been where your at and know the feeling. The more I tried so hard to fight tms the more it would take over. You need to get your fear and worry in check. Try some meditation and deep breathing. The more I began to have acceptance and not constantly worry about my pain, the more it faded away. Don't put a time table on your self to heal, just give it time and be patient. I'm sure it's frustrating you, especially since you got over the pain so quickly last time. Try reading "Great Pain Deception" by Steve Ozanich, it's a great book with a lot of knowledge. Try to live life in the moment and do things you enjoy. Be thankful for where you are and try not to put so much pressure on yourself. Wish you the best of luck and look forward to seeing you heal.