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Day 10.. Progress!!

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by bluealchemy, Feb 20, 2024.

  1. bluealchemy

    bluealchemy Peer Supporter

    Guess what guys?! I bent over and picked something up from the floor last night WITH NO PAN!!

    I was EUPHORIC because it made me realize that this is possible!!

    Of course it's not 100% gone, it's still lingering there - but I could not be more confident in my diagnosis.

    The past few days I experienced a lot of emotional purging.

    Yesterday morning, I had a EMDR therapy session where I uncovered a well of repressed terror. Flashbacks to my experience with my mom in the hospital, and I spoke aloud deep repressed feelings about that time that I never ever vocalized to anyone out of shame and guilt.

    It's just the beginning and I'm going to celebrate this win while also continuing to work at this and do my daily journaling and angry runs.

    I'm really excited because today I'm going to a consultation at a kick boxing & jiu jitsu place. This is the one physical activity that I want to do soo badly but I have feared the most. So I'm just going to go for it.

    One minor setback I had this week - in a yoga class, I did every single move in the sequence fearlessly, despite extreme pain when I bend forward (which is like the core sequence in a sun salutation) - Except up dog and camel (back bend poses).

    My back guy had told me that I should "never do up dog again" and to avoid back extensions, forever. So that was the one move in class I didn't make fully out of nervousness. What do you think? Should I still do back bends? I know y'all are gonna say yes haha
     
    bluealchemy, Feb 20, 2024
    #1
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  2. Baseball65

    Baseball65 Beloved Grand Eagle

     
    Baseball65, Feb 20, 2024
    #2
  3. bluealchemy

    bluealchemy Peer Supporter

    "no comment" lol
     
    bluealchemy, Feb 21, 2024
    #3
    JanAtheCPA likes this.
  4. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    Baby steps, baby!

    First, consider that part of this process is learning to trust your instincts again (or, for some folks, perhaps for the first time ever).

    Patience is also integral to this work. You said you didn't fully do the movement? Meaning that you adjusted so that you could do it partially? That just sounds like good common sense to me, as well as what the best teachers always advise.

    Slow and steady builds back the trust in your body that was lost when your TMS mechanism took over. It's kind of like dieting - you can't expect to take off the weight faster than it went on.

    You're doing great work :joyful:
     
    JanAtheCPA, Feb 21, 2024
    #4
    bluealchemy likes this.
  5. Baseball65

    Baseball65 Beloved Grand Eagle

    When someone answers their own question correctly, it means they no longer need a lot of input...because they are moving down the stream, as you are!

    peace
     
    Baseball65, Feb 21, 2024
    #5
    bluealchemy likes this.

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