Day 10 Day 10 Question to Ponder

Think of a person in your life from whom you hide your emotions. What is preventing you from telling this person how you feel?

Well, what an easy question .... most everybody, except for my husband, occasionally. I'm a pro at feeling those nasty emotions coming to the surface and immediately squashing them down. Decades of practice, I guess. I think this will be the most difficult area of my life to change. Expressing myself. I do share my feelings on occasion with my husband - but, many times, I feel bad because he's the only one I do share with and I feel like maybe I put him on overload. I mean, a person can only handle so much. Beyond him, I really have no one that I feel completely comfortable sharing with .... plus, I tend to be more of the listener (taking it all in, especially everyone else's problems). I've felt that no one really care to listen to my problems. Of course, it's not like I shared them with many people, so who really knows. It's just the way I feel. Hoping to overcome this!

 

Share your feelings here on this forum. That's why we are here, to listen. We all understand what you are going through. I have come out of my shell now & have shared with my whole family my struggles & that I will need their understanding. I don't hide that I meet with a therapist now & I take time for myself now to heal. My husband has been my rock & sounding board too but I know he understands that I trust him & need to vent about some deep feelings. He said that it has helped him too come more present with his own feelings. You're doing great & just post here those thoughts or feelings when you want to. Take care!!

 

Don't you ever feel like you bombard your husband with all of your "issues"? You said that your husband said that it has helped him come more present with his own feelings, which is good ..... but (this is where the negative comes in), I immediately go to feeling like I'm just always laying this stuff on my husband. I feel like he's just tired of hearing it.

 

Many times I feel like I talk too much about my situation to him. But be reminded "for in sickness & in health" in your vows. Sometimes I catch myself about to talk about my pain & then remind myself that talking about my pain only reminds me of my pain, so I ask myself "what positive thing can I say or ask him about his life." You should consider calling into the Tuesday or Saturday chat sessions where you can talk & listen to others here on this forum talk & help each other out. I find it beneficial even when I am just listening. We are not alone & please continue to reach out. Your situation will not only benefit you one day it will help others including your husband. Take care.

 

I found the journalling to be a great release. I often do it before I talk to others about what is going on. By the writing everything out, I don't edit, nor worry about my words, or having to listen to unasked for advice (my partner's default, unfortunately) But I get the feelings and emotions out of my body and I always feel lighter and less ruled by my feelings as a result. I also learned to ask my partner if I can unload - that gives her the chance to say yes or no. Then I don't have to have the responsibility of worrying if I'm burdening her. The main thing is to keep talking, keep letting stuff out. And use this forum as was suggested earlier. There are lots of us who are ready to be all ears and offer support.

 

Thanks for your replies. I will definitely take part in the phones, but not just yet. Hacking and diagnosed with bronchitis today, so hopefully in a week or 2 or 3.