Day 10 update

Sometimes I feel frustrated with my progress, though even my doctor thinks I am doing very well. I find that a lot of my issues are related to childhood or patterns that started then and it frustrates me because I've journaled most of my life, did therapy, went to workshops, etc. and it's like how much more work do I have to do to process this stuff? I hope to start therapy with a new therapist soon who among other things works with people who have had difficult or even traumatic childhoods; I emailed him and told him about my work with TMS and he thought that it might be a good fit and that we could schedule a session soon.

I also find that I am stuck in some of the same issues I was stuck in 15 years ago. Today's question to ponder was about someone you hide your feelings from. I thought of my father (this has been a life-long issue with me and him). I hide my feelings from him for a variety of reasons. One is that he worries about everything and I am concerned if I tell him about TMS he'll be worried something is really wrong with me--he's getting older and I don't want to worry him. Related to this is the concern that he'll drive me nuts about it--"how are you feeling today?" "don't tell anyone about this, they will think you're crazy!" etc. Of course, I have no idea if he would actually say these things. Part of me feels a strange sense of elation at the idea of telling him about this and my lifelong anxiety and the rest of me thinks it's better to leave well enough alone. My mother knows some of it as she is the person that first told me about Dr. Sarno.

I don't know what I'll do but acknowledging the fact that this is even still lurking in me seems to have helped.

 

I don't know what I'll do but acknowledging the fact that this is even still lurking in me seems to have helped.[/quote]

Hi, hey why don't you write a letter to your dad, telling him you have TMS and telling him you hide the real you from him for 'fear' or his reaction. Write a long, detailed letter, then read it out loud in front of a mirror, then tear it up and throw it away, tell your dad you love him (in the mirror) and consider it dealt with. i don't think we need to tell everyone close to us about TMS, not in detail anyways. I often say 'I'm going well thanks, my back's getting better, how are you?' because I am not answerable to anyone. All the best in your journey.

 

Thanks everyone. I tend to think about things intellectually a lot and figure I've talked through or written about these issues before so why aren't they gone? I tend to make the best of everything, reframe with positive thoughts, etc. I don't always think that's the best idea, I think a lot of times it is just another way to repress feelings. I am still having new insights on childhood stuff and I'm almost 40. I like the idea of writing the letter, I'll give that a try.

 

And I also want to check out the book you mentioned, Jan.

 

Yes! I have all of Claire Weekes' books at home. They're very helpful and calming. I also really like the Panic & Anxiety Workbook.

 

As an unofficial expert on anxiety, as Jan said, this sentence says a lot. Anxiety is an emotional state. And there are several different types. Sounds like you are like me and worry. You really can't resolve worry through an intellectual process. It starts with an event, or something in childhood. You can "reframe" all you like, but until you reach the core of why you do what you do - and feel it - it will be your constant companion.

I am always looking at myself from a distance and the time I waste on worry. Ultimately, it changes nothing and exhausts me. But we KNOW that intellectually, now we have to catch ourselves and work it from another angle.

I got a lot out Dr. Paul Foxman's book "Dancing with Fear". Saw myself on every page. There are things in that book that described me to a "T" that I had no idea were related to my anxiety. He also gives you new ways to think and catch yourself when you start to worry.

The key is to find the root, and work from there. It's a daily process. I too have Claire Weekes book, but haven't had time to read it yet. I think there will be things in there that will help.

I'm just a tad older than you *cough* and I am still learning about my anxiety issues. It's a relief to me anyway, that I'm not alone. Millions suffer anxiety and do nothing about it.

BG

 

I've found once I start trying to reason with anxiety is starts to escalate and go around in circles. The best thing for me is just breaking the worry cycle. Claire Weekes I think has something about that.

 

Well we'll each conquer it in our own way. After all, we arrived here in Anxiety World for different reasons. I hope you find your way out Veronica. I'll get on reading the book too and let's see where we land!