Day 10

I fell a little behind in the days because of a huge event I ran recently, but that's OK. Part of my problems I know are because I get too obsessive and perfectionistic so it's good practice to just keep doing the next day even if I miss a day.

I am doing well. I was in tears due to my pain a few weeks ago (but due to the length of it as well as the emotional fear of it never going away and me not being able to do what I want to do).

I do have some doubts for two of my pain spots, because it has not been 'ruled out' that it is not a structuural cause. I find myself thinking that it could be structural, and I have appointments scheduled to deal with that. However, for the other pains I have, I am sure it's TMS. I have been exploring adding motions that had been bothering me, and so far so good. I am being conservative though cause I am not in a hurry, especially with those areas I mentioned do still need to be looked at. Part of me feels like I should just not even get looked at and assume it's TMS, but I think I would be better able to commit to the program if I follow through with the appointments.

The big thing I realized was that there really has never been a time in my life where I had no pain or emotional issue (I had way less pain when I had an eating disorder, for example). So that to me really indicates TMS and it makes so much sense. I used to wonder why for example my left foot felt better my right foot would start hurting. Now I get it.

Generally my pain is much less and even when I get some, it doesn't bother me as much. I think that means I am doing well. It feels that way to me.

 

By all means, do get those tests, to learn if anything is structurally wrong with you. But keep in mind that Dr. Sarno says that even if something is found, like a herniated disc, that may not be causing your pain but something emotional is.
You admit you are obsessive and a perfectionist. Those are common causes of TMS pain. You say you feel you are doling well on your TMS healing journey. That's great. Keep positive and you will be pain-free.

I like these thoughts, from Fiona Childs:

Accept what is.

Let go of what was.

Have faith in what can be.

 

Thanks for the feedback!