Day 10 Day 10

So, now I am 1,5 week (+ week 0) into this exciting journey. So far I have realised that writing is so fulfilling since it connects me to my inner self in a way that I have never been connected to myself. But in the same time it can be so overwhelming with emotions.

The daily tasks in this program and the 'deadlines' can sometimes be very stressful itself and create new anxiety, even though the purpose is the opposite. Dividing some tasks over more than one day, and individually adapt the program has been an interesting approach. Still I want this to be my first priority no matter how hectic my every day life might be. Balance is important though and as learned during week 0, what is more important? Finishing all the tasks of Day X or just feeling good and ok that day? Reminding myself of being ok here and now has therefore been the key.

I have also realised, even though I have the "perfect childhood" view; that as soon as I started digging, I realised that even "minor" events in an otherwise stable childhood, may have had a greater impact than I might have realised.

My doubts about the TMS diagnosis is totally gone and I am keeping up this emotion filled journey. The emotions are indeed mixed but mostly of the joyful and exciting type.