Day 13 Day 13

All of the readings have been extraordinarily helpful for me. Starting with Sarno's book The MindBody Prescription made me hungry to read more. Then I finished Healing Back Pain and started Fred Amir's Back and Neck Pain. I read everything on this forum that is suggested. I have really enjoyed hearing from former athletes who have been able to pick up their sports again and participate without pain. I read something every single day - to help keep it fresh about changing this conditioning.
I also think its important to support others on the forum. It keeps me engaged and an opportunity to walk my talk.
I've had pain the last couple of days but I am under a lot of stress. My brother-in-law is dying from this horrible brain disease that hit him just about 2 months ago. Its all happened so fast. This back pain of mine, started in the middle of caretaking for my father who died, my sister who died, my mom who died and now Bob. Every two years for the last 6, I've been dealing with a family member dying. The grief and the responsibilities that have come with it. I understand and am somewhat compassionate about the pain because I know what its trying to do - distract me from this sadness. I know it will go away because of what all of you tell me.
I am so grateful to all of you on this forum! Thank you for posting and letting me know how it is all working for you!

 

I'm so sorry you are having to deal with so much sadness and grief. I hope you are journaling about it all. As Sarno said in his books - the fear of death and the facing up to our mortality is a huge thing to come to terms with. It seems you are being forced into thinking about it with what you have been going through. The only words of comfort I can give are from Ram Dass who said 'Death is like taking off a tight shoe' - I so hope he is right!

 

Eric)- Im an athlete, I love weight lifting and playing football Bike riding and so much more- Martial Arts too
See I've been back on my exercises and hobbies for a while now. I noticed when I started back that I had to get two or three workouts in
then id have a stiff day or some soreness from the tms, it was just trying to fight its last stand is all; I knew that.
Now when I exercise or practice martial arts ill really enjoy it cause I don't have the pain that laid me down before
I've worked to a stage past being in fear of structural action, and I think that is a conditioned fear that is hard to rid -
of but its part of the tms therapy as you heal ya know.
I enjoy when I ride my bike or if I get a weekend to play a game of ball then im primed and ready for it.
Before id lost that feeling to just want to play ya know and I know that took away from my happiness, hence the tms waking me up ya know.
I remember a prayer fro two months ago and I said if I get to go forth with my life then I would live it to the full. Not holding back anything, if I have in my heart to accomplish a goal then that's what ill do, if I have a setback then im ok there too and I don't brood over it ya know. I just do what I know im happy doing. like in the past if I washed dishes then id not be to happy a camper ya know and it seemed like it took forever. Now I feel happy doing the dishes or cutting the lawn and especially exercising cause I've used mindfulness enough to be aware of the joy in life.

nowtimecoach)- I've had pain the last couple of days but I am under a lot of stress. My brother-in-law is dying from this horrible brain disease that hit him just about 2 months ago. Its all happened so fast. This back pain of mine, started in the middle of caretaking for my father who died, my sister who died, my mom who died and now Bob. Every two years for the last 6, I've been dealing with a family member dying. The grief and the responsibilities that have come with it. I understand and am somewhat compassionate about the pain because I know what its trying to do - distract me from this sadness. I know it will go away because of what all of you tell me.
I am so grateful to all of you on this forum! Thank you for posting and letting me know how it is all working for you!


nowtimecoach)- Quote- (I understand and am somewhat compassionate about the pain because I know what its trying to do - distract me from this sadness.)

Eric)- You've been through a lot and sadness is ok if you need to be sad, its perfectly normal. Then we move forward and accept the losses knowing we have them always in our hearts.
See when you mention how you are compassionate to the tms, that shows you know how to heal. Your not fighting tms in a negative way but a caring - humble style.

Very good, you have the skills with this mindset to be free of all your pain , just remember to face the past memories that you probably haven't wanted too and also the present ones.
Look at them and don't judge them, if you feel sadness then cry if you need to and feel the emotion, face it- then you will soon see that sad emotion will grow into an emotion of courage and happiness cause you'll associate all the good emotions and all the times these loved ones built you up and you'll have this new emotion of hope, a higher hope I should say.

I had back pain come back on me after my father passed for about a month or two and I remember that I had compassion to the tms for what it was doing and because I knew its inner workings, I really believe that's why it went away after I focused on the pain and emotions ya know. I hope this helps
Bless you