Day 17 Day 17 - 18: Frustrated & Need Support

Good Morning,

The past 2-3 days I have had this frustrating migraine that I cannot shake, even with my migraine medication and/or excedrin migraine.

It has been INSANELY hot/humid where I am the past week (90s but feels like 105+ temps) and that has been triggering some uncomfortable feelings/anxiety for me, but luckily I work indoors in AC and have family members who are away that I have been sleeping at their houses with central air units.

I was supposed to go to a concert on Tuesday night. It was so disgusting out and I had a ton of time to kill and had already seen this band before that I ended up selling my ticket to my friend's girlfriend and driving to Maine where my family was and it was cooler. I think I was part of me was thinking too much about "TMS" and how I was like "oh, I let it get the best of me!" I caved and took migraine meds and it subsided when I got to my parents place. The other part of me was thinking, "good job doing what was right for your body, you never really wanted to go that bad in the first place, don't go just to please others."

The next day I went to the beach for the first time with my parents for 4-5 hours and had a slight headache but manageable and had a nice relaxing day. We got home around 1 and relaxed and I took a nap for the first time in what seems like 6-7 months. However, when I woke up from the nap, I had a pretty bad headache that subsided a little bit when I was with my parents watching TV/grilling but intensified more so when I drove back home.

On my way home, I kept practicing somatic tracking and cognitive soothing techniques and noticed the pain seemed to worsen a bit. Digging deep, I know it was the feelings of leaving my family, being alone, and the "scaries" of having to back to work tomorrow. I sat with them all night, watched some TV to relax, did some journaling and went to bed.

However, when I woke up this morning the pain was still there and anxiety came with it. I was able to use techniques to push through anxiety, but currently still have this pain on the ride side of my forehead above my eye.

I'm really trying to dig deep and ask myself what emotions am I repressing, but getting frustrated that I feel as if I am constantly opening myself up with journaling and thoughts and have nothing left to give.

Thoughts I currently have as I am on my lunch break are:

- This is frustrating but you are healthy and this feeling has subsided in the past
- Don't let the fear of this pain prevent you from teaching a great class today and going for a run later
- It's hot out but it is summer and eventually it will cool down. You have been fine in the heat in the past
- Things I love about myself: energetic personality, how I love music, , art, sports, nature and interacting with other people about absolutely anything
- Remembering that the brain is capable of rewiring at anytime and I WILL get better
- Keep reinforcing to not put a time stamp/pressure on healing and everyone is different - stop wondering if you are going to be "ok" on your vacation to RI at the end of the month and just live in the moment
- You had a deep, long scratch on your arm from your dog that happened last week and that has almost fully healed, therefore your body is always capable of healing itself.

What advice/support/suggestions do others have for me?

Edit: As I just typed and posted it my pain subsided lessened about 50-60%! This is crazy.

Edit #2: I made it through the day teaching a class with a migraine and was fine and it went well. I am extremely proud of myself for pushing through.

Observations from today:

- I started running on the treadmill this afternoon and had no pain (was able to run 5.5 miles)
- Whenever I get in a hot shower, I have no pain
- I cooked tonight and while I was going I was so distracted and no pain

When I stopped doing these things, slight tension/aches came back. TMS is somethin' else.

 

Hi MusicMan,

Sounds like you are approaching TMS treatment appropriately and just need to give it some time before you get to full recovery. I recovered from having migraines for over 50 years (you can read my success story on my profile page) so I know how debilitating they can be. The only suggestion I have for you is that you said you "caved" and took migraine medication. I don't think you should look at taking medication once you have a migraine as a weakness or failure. It's very hard to get rid of a migraine once its full blown by TMS techniques, in my experience. Where I used my TMS techniques was in the very early stages when I would get those early warning signs that one was on the way. They are different for everyone. That is when I would "talk to my brain" and tell myself that there was no need for a migraine, etc. You can find your own words that work for you. Of course, most of the TMS work is preventative through exploring thoughts, feelings, and personality traits that contribute to the need for TMS. Sounds like you are doing this in your journaling. Yes, it gets old after a while, but it does work for most of us. So just keep at it. Not too much, though. Continue to live your life and find joy. You're on the right path.