Day 18 Trying to feel my anger and just let it be

I am very angry with my friend L today but I have managed to keep the pain to a minimum. I am just accepting that I am angry and that it is OK to be angry. We are both on vacation this week and we've been discussing for the last couple of weeks the things we wanted to do together. I was first upset because I had wanted to go away for some of my time off and visit my other friend S. But S didn't seem to want me to come visit so I was looking forward to doing some things with L. And of course it turned out so far just like I thought it would with L. She and I are very different. She likes to keep herself busy with home projects and spends way too much time with her ex husband working on projects. He is remarried which is even more strange. She would rather spend time painting concrete block with her ex than doing something fun with a friend. The woman does not know how to have fun or relax.

The real anger is because my husband cannot do fun things with me because of his illness. Vacation can be very depressing for me because he can't really do much. We have rented beach front condos and I will end up spending 95% of the time alone. No point in going on a cruise or anything like that. So I have always had to rely on friends or do things by myself. I will go to the beach by myself. But who wants to do a day trip alone?

So I guess it's a good thing my back and neck are not hurting too badly today. No shooting pains or sciatica but I did have some neck pain.

 

Hi, Cat Lady. Your husband and friend L sound like they would give anyone some pain. Is it possible to find a new friend? If you go on a day trip, look for someone with whom you might start a new friendship.

 

You are exactly right. I have been so disappointed in my two main friends lately. I need to find some new friends but it is hard to do. I don't like big social groups so how in the world do I find other women my age who are single or have a husband that can't do stuff?