Day 2 and feeling a lil crazy :)

Hi all i just finished day 2 of the structured program and i must say it opened up a few underlying issues. When i had to write down 3 things that make me angry and 3 things that make me sad i was very surprised of what i had written down. Long story short i always thought it was anger thats my main problem as i tend to have a short fuse on the most stupidist things but i found my list of angry things were all 1-2 sentences long but when i wrote the sad things which was hard to even think of at first they were all 6,7,8 lines long and each one actually made me start to tear up?? Once i had finished i re-read the whole lists and again when i got to the sad list i again teared up till i couldnt read without wiping my eyes! I just thought i would post it here as to see if anyone has had the same experiences and its much easier not to be judged here and be called a big girl! lol its weird cause i never tear up and cant even remembered the last time i cried. so yeah anyway jus a weird experience i thought i would share. Peace out

 

Hi,

I can relate to that... it just goes to show how those feelings can be just beneath our awareness. We don't even recognize that they exist unless we take the time, stop and look inward for a bit. When I do that I sometimes get that feeling like a burden has been lifted or like I've just woken up.. an increase in awareness.

 

Yeah that's right. I did feel like a burden had been lifted it was nice! It was funny cause after it the pain changed to a little on the right side now was fine before? I'm guessing the pain is hanging on for dear life lol maybe I'm on the right track! Looking forward to no pain as is everyone I assure you lol

 

It sounds like you are.

 

My list of sad things was never ending. I think that also ties into having depression my entire life (until now). I had only a few angry examples. The old saying of anger turned inwards is depression certainly applies to me.

I didn't think I had the "stoic" personality trait but not ever crying was a characteristic for me. Now I do cry realizing it is good to "feel" that sorrow and pain. It feels good instead of being embarrassed and strapping all feeling deep inside.