Day 2 Day 2 :(GT)

Three things that make me feel angry are:
1. Towards my wife. Feeling that im the only one seeing an issue with a repair, cleaning or even making dinner. Arguments bout who cleans what part of the house, what we should eat. I initiate the arguments but I really don't know why. 2. Angry and afraid that I stayed with a job to long and now im old and somewhat lazy to get out of this profession. 3. Angry that i'm a perfectionist and feel I have to do everything myself.

Three things that make me feel sad are: 1. That im not good enough for my wife and make her feel maybe unhappy. I can't express love that well and this might be an issue from childhood. 2. My dad is struggling with his health in the past few years. 3. Miss hanging out with some old friends. (different countries)

 

Hi, Georgethee. I hope you won't mind some suggestions, but you say that you initiate the arguments. That says a lot. You have anger and it looks like you are taking it out on your wife and probably others. You think your best years are behind you but are reluctant (or scared) to change jobs or careers. Your father's age and health may have you worrying about own and your future. I think you have come to the right place... the SEProgram and journaling will help you to take long looks at yourself and discover why you are unhappy or angry. You also are a perfectionist. Maybe try to work on that. You don't have to change 100 percent; just modify your perfectionism. Repairing, cleaning, or making dinner are all really very unimportant. Try to journal about why you express love. It probably does go back to your childhood. Maybe your parents did not give you the love you wanted. But consider how busy they were, to make a home for you, and they probably had their own TMS. You've just begun the SEProgram. Be patient and conscientious about following it. You will learn more about yourself than you ever dreamed. It will help you to become a happy man. You have to discover why you are not happy. That will lead you to becoming the best man you could ever have imagined. Maybe start by just liking yourself. There are some good videos on YouTube on self-esteem you might look at. And you just may have a dark outlook on life and the future because you're watching tv news. Turn it off! Put positive and happy thoughts and actions into your life. Be grateful for all you have.

 

Hi Walt, thank you for taking time out of your day to answer all these people .

Your observations are pretty much spot on. I know im a work in progress. I must say I have a hard time thinking of past events that angered me or made me sad or fearful. I remember that it happend but not why it happend or the details of those events. It must be all repressed anger. My journals are at this point one liners.

Could it be that TMS cause memory loss?
Its a question I also asked in the 'Ask a TMS Therpapist'.

 

I do the same with feeling like I'm the one who notices or takes care of things in the relationship. I realized that mine came from being the "good" kid as a child and anticipating what needed to be done to please my narcissist mother. Were you the "good" kid in your family?