Day 2

Yesterday was our EFT relationship counseling day. We do it to improve communication and to see how our own experiences often lead to how we treat others or react to what they say or do, in hopes to strengthen the relationship.

My mind was consumed with the urge to urinate. As we entered the counseling building I start to feel woozy and anxious. I know something is up and my brain is trying to keep me from knowing. I had journalled the day before. I had some leads but nothing "felt" significant. We proceed with our counseling. As I talk about my gf, I noticed a deep fear of intimacy coming up and the urge to urinate increases along with the shakes, light headedness and blurred vision. I'm in full anxiety. We talk about it, work through it.

I identified a big part of the source. Fear of getting too close, fear of deep trust and fear of letting go of old pain and barriers. This came from a previous relationship where I had been hurt badly and I had developed ways to, maintain emotional distance.

To recap the urge to urinate. It came on at a concert where I overcame some fears and started to feel very connected and close to my gf. This probably triggered the unconscious reaction and distraction of the urge to urinate all the time. As I bring to mind my deep feelings for my gf, I immediately notice an increase in the urge to go. I also let my brain know it's ok and pendulate from this feeling and visual representation to one of neutrality and back and forth. It helps sort of loosen things without producing too much anxiety.

By the end of our session the urge was cut by half. Wow! I'm still a bit surprised. I'm still having issues having my brain catch up and let go. It may take some time and I may have to do more work around allowing myself to feel these old feelings and letting my brain know I'm ok.