Day 23 day 23

Do you think you are avoiding any part of this treatment? What emotions or past events do you think you may be repressing?
I had the most amazing experience last night. Since my brother in law has died there has been a lot of tension, resentment and basically negative feelings all the way around between my niece, nephew and the "new wife." I've had lots of pain as a result of the tension. I'm a PERFECT goodist/people pleaser (grin) and the door just magically opened to show me just how angry I have been at the treatment of my niece and nephew. All this time, I have been trying to play the "peacemaker" between all parties. Trying to see everyone's perspective. You know, take the high road, be reasonable and logical. Meanwhile, it was revealed to me - -like a bubble popping up from the subconscious. "I AM ANGRY!" and I could see where the anger was unreasonable, illogical, immature, tantrum'ing and exploding. It feels like I got a huge chunk of TMS recovery work by seeing, actually being able to see and FEEL how much control I exert over NOT having those feelings come to light.
I immediately tried going into fix-it mode with this forbidden feeling but it kept coming to my understanding that all I had to do was Accept and Acknowledge that the feeling was there. My back feels way better this morning. So I didn't think I was avoiding any part of this treatment but now I really understand the mechanism of power and control I exert over feelings that I deem unacceptable. Whew!!

 

This is a prime example of awareness and acceptance mixed with the knowledge therapy- very well done nowtimecoach
Bless you