Day 23 day 23

Do you think you are avoiding any part of this treatment? What emotions or past events do you think you may be repressing? These were the two questions to ponder for today.

I am not avoiding the treatment, however, I am definitely doing things to slow down my healing. Firstly, I have not been consistent with my journal entries nor my forum posts. I have every intention to complete my daily structured educational program journal entries, but I have fear to do them and end up not even opening my journal. I have been able to at least enter something once a week. I get anxious at the thought of having to write down my feelings. I hope to get over this issue at some point.

My other issue is that my body continues to create new pain and problems just as one clears up. I am happy that my plantar's fascitiis is now healed, but my stomach issues returned this past week and my eye twitching and facial rash continue to flare on and off.

I recently got engaged and my fiance and I cannot agree on the reception. I also am looking for a new job. I tend to avoid conflict and not ask for things that I want in order to please others, but this behavior has caused many of my symptoms to increase lately.

The main emotions that I might be repressing are ones related to not expressing my anger or concerns in order to please others. I often think that I do not set boundaries and end up feeling resentful for doing things that I don't want to do. I also have tried to avoid conflict in the past in order to keep my parents happy by not insisting on the things that met my needs and wants. I felt that their love was tied to me doing exactly what they wanted. I keep repeating this behavior with my new relationships.

 

Hi, It sounds like there is a lot to journal about, especially what you wrote in your last paragraph. That is so good. You have a start what to journal about.
I want to encourage you that all these new symptoms are just to distract you not to look and go deep into those repressed emotions. Just go for it, you can do it.

 

aa3405 take Grs advice. All you have to do is journal about your present issues. Face them and then let it go. If you don't face your repressions you will stay in pain. You know what you have to do but you can't do it. Hum, so maybe you have more repression than we know and that's ok. You can start writing about anything emotional, it doesn't have to be the hard stuff at first. You can take your time and work up to it.

Writing this down and getting it off your back would be beneficial but you could try and process your emotions in your mind like Steveo did with his repressions that he faced in the now. Have you heard of Claire Weekes?

I usually don't do this but what about trying the TMS program. Alan Gordon is good at getting you over the hump ok. Bless You

 

Thank you for your advice and support. I will look into the TMS program. I was told of a program called onsite that I might try first.

 

Thank You aa3405, good luck with all you do.