Day 24 Day 24 Question/Anger and Rage

In the required reading, the interviewer asks Dr. Sarno about our drive to be perfect:

Patients often ask me, “Do you want me to start being nasty?” and I say, “No.” I simply want them to understand that the drive to be perfect angers the unconscious. Once the person recognizes that this is what is happening, they no longer automatically react to pressure with anger and rage. They no longer need the distraction of physical pain.

I can accept that I'm a perfectionist, I know this, but I'm having trouble with understanding the drive to be perfect. I only say this because despite what I think I understand in this regard, I still find myself reacting to situations with anger and rage. How does one go about changing this mindset?

 

In order to change your reactions you have to be aware of when your having them and then WHY are you having them. If you can tell yourself why you are having negative reactions then you will know how to change them.

If you have any questions ask away.
Remember to ask why am I reacting this way?
Thanks LindaRK

 

I guess what's frustrating for me is that when I have these "reactions" and think on why I'm having them, I feel like maybe I'm not addressing the issues I'm supposed to be addressing. Or, sometimes I address the same issues over and over, yet the anger/rage is still there.

 

Like if you get mad cause a person is aggravating you, Then you might say to yourself. Their aggravating me cause I cant stand to be aggravated. And we know being aggravated is within your control right.

So try this formula. Why are you getting mad or angry at a subject or issue or triviality "Cause I feel like getting mad or angry at this issue you might think". Then that's a choice that can be thought about with more why? questions if you wish to go deeper.

Either way you will finally get to the point that you understand that you control your anger thus your reactions and really the question why? is to let you know its you doing the anger or fear part so just focus for now on your meditations and calming down your sensitized autonomic system then in time your anger will come under control and your reactions. Being aware and asking why is a very good tool.

Of course your still in the reconditioning phase so be patient and let time have her perfect work.

PS - Remember to imagine how you will feel in 1 month from now if you start watching every reaction you have and then change that reaction to a good reaction or in other words just act don't react.
If you ever find your self slipping then imagine how you will feel in a month, a year, 5 years this time if you don't do that thing.

Thanks

 

Thanks Eric! You have always have wise words for us!