Day 25 Understanding myself

I am making progress but I am certainly not one of those lucky ones who was able to read a book and be cured. I had started the SEP once before two years ago and stopped. Not sure why. But I never got as far as I have this time. I am starting to really understand myself, my insecurities, my fears, etc. and I am trying to understand the why of it all.

Why do I feel pain when I can't control a situation at work? Why did I just feel that stab of pain in my neck or back when somebody said something or in a particular situation? What is lurking in the shadows that I am not seeing or feeling?

I will think I have had an aha moment and make the pain go away and then something else will take its place. But overall I am doing better and not worrying so much when I am feeling pain. Knowing it will lessen when I do some yoga or some meditation.

I am hopeful.

 

Hope is a wonderful thing, Cat Lady. You should be proud of having come this far already. The occasional twinge is no reason for a major setback. Just bumps in the road, little whimpers of the unconscious as he's chased outta Dodge . . .

 

I'm definitely not sure of the exact reason but I do know this situation is extremely common! So common, in fact, that I recall there was a study done that showed workers at various types of jobs were most likely to get chronic back pain when they had the least control over their work environment. Not, as you might expect, if they had to do the most heavy lifting. TMS pain when you have limited control over things in your life is so frequent...it understandably brings up lots of emotions and tension.

 

So how do you make it stop when you are in the middle of a severe attack? Today I woke up with severe muscle spasms because I am worried about a situation at work.

I tried meditation and tried to do some yoga but nothing is working today so I am just dealing with it knowing it will pass.