Day 26 - When was the last time you talked with your parents?

mum: Last night on phone spoke with the mother,conversation went well, i feel pressure to have to see her i guess, its a similar pattern, sometimes i haven't seen her for a while and i feel a bit of panic that i should before she dies etc. Its not like shes on her death bed or anything just in 70s and time is running out. The situation is tricky though, cant just always see her.

dad: about 1.5 years ago me and dad spoke via email back and forth a few times, before that i haven't seen him for many many years , i tried to go over past and divorce, he sees no value in going over past issues, he seems to not be able to rationialize things very well even though he says hes fine with going over stuff - its really awkward to deal with people who aren't concious of themselves on deep levels. Seems to me like he has issues with divorce from my mum. The situation is pretty messed up i've not seen him in many many years. time is also running out but the situation is pretty much a stalemate. He thinks he done right by me, i dont think he did what is required of a dad to raise a child. Hes not interested much on my opinion on that, must think i dont understand or something. Age and experience must be his justification - i guess, or he just doesn't care or cant care or doesn't want to unsettle his current life set up. Its just a ridiculous situation. Makes me sad. Its not just simple like making contact, if people cant be rational like... 95% of the time what can you do right.

current TMS symptoms = im great doing great been down the park kicking football today, things are gooooood.

 

It looks to me like you are not going to get very far, or anywhere at all, trying to put the past to rest regarding your parents. You father seems to be content to put the past behind him. One way for you to do that is to write him a letter with your grievances, get it all out of your heart and soul, but don't send the letter. Maybe do the same to your mother. My parents divorced when I was seven and it left me with feelings of abandonment and insecurity. In journaling in the SEProgram I realized I had been repressing those feelings, along with anger.
Thinking about it all, I realized my parents had their own TMS emotional pain. I was able to put myself in their shoes and it helped me to forgive them. They had both passed on by then, so it was a matter of forging them in my heart. It helped to stop my severe back pain and emotional hurts.

I'm glad you went to the park and kicked a football. You feel that things are good. That's very encouraging.
The more positive you feel about healing, the more you will heal. That may sound like Mary Poppins, but it works.

 

Yep i've not got anywhere for many years on this issue with my dad especially.

Thanks for reply Walt i will try your suggestions with unsent letters. As bad as it sounds I have wondered if it might be easier when they have moved on but i really dont know answer to that.

I have also spotted my parents TMS or emotional issues for sure. My dad actually has had back pain for over 30 years, it must be TMS - basically it is i can tell, i want to suggest healing back pain book to him somehow but not sure how to go about it.

 

By the way is your dog in that photo a black labrador?

 

Yes. Annie is a black Lab mix. My third and all adorable and loving and my loyal companions.

 

She looks really lovely we had a black lab once when i was young.

Thanks for all your comments/help.