Day 29, journalling, letter to people who hurt me.

I am on 29. I wrote a letter to my ex, who hurt me very much. He was incredibly selfish and had addiction issues. I also had to forgive myself for staying in a relationship that 6 months in, I knew there were some things that upset me. And when i mentioned it, he said he would work on it, but never did. That is when I should have left, but I didn't. I wasn't ready. I also let my mother and my father know, their selfishness had hurt me. Then I forgave them all. And said, this is who God wanted me to work with to better understand myself. And tried to focus on the spiritual angle. And forgive myself for causing myself so much shame, and emotional abuse and neglect and thinking about these relationships as they consumed me. I learned much about co-dendency, alcoholism, drug addiction and antisocial personalities, and tried to just apply logic and forgiveness to separate. As a friend once said, I don't regret the men I have loved, I just regret the time I spent thinking about them.

 

Hi, vanessa. I'm sorry you had such a jerk for a husband, and that your parents were selfish.

It's great that you wrote them all a letter but didn't send it. You expressed your inner feelings and got them out of your system, if not your head.
It can help to forgive, but maybe even harder to forget. Just try to forget your ex and accept that your parents weren't as supportive as you'd like.

God has said it's divine to forgive. It really does put our mind to rest.

I keep busy so past traumas don't come up often. If they do, I practice deep breathing and laughing. I also concentrate on the people I love and who love me, and I love being with or just thinking about.

I also spend time focusing on the spiritual angle, as you put it. A niece visited me Sunday and gave me a book she said is fantastic...
DIARY OF SAINT MARIA FAUSTINA KOWALSKA. I haven't begun it yet, but will. It is her diary about increasing faith.
Look it up at amazon.com books and I think my niece said there is a video about her on Youtube.

 

Not my husband my ex boyfriend. Husband died 10 years ago. I have way too many other books to read at the moment, as I am a writer. One day Ill hopefully read it. Thank you.