Day 3 and onwards...

Hello eveyone.. well I was planning to post on hear as part of my Day 3 SP as physical exercise and movement felt like a big issue for me. But I am pleased to say that I have done several walks of about 25-30 mins and am stretching each day at least a bit. I am just trying to move naturally in a way that feels good to me.. in a relaxed way and not being perfectionist about technique!
So very pleased with myself on that level.

Now my old 'habit' of feeling that I do not have the time or energy after work to do personal development work or anything very constructive has grabbed me.. it seems a walk is OK but I have got stuck on getting Day 5 of the program completed. I kid myself that after a day at work my brain is too tired to have to really think but it is no doubt a good avoidance strategy for me... I am pretty frustrated with my job and it dominates my energy on many levels.
I do find it really hard to prioritise and fit everything into my day.. classic TMS person?
I need to reflect on this more.. apologies if this is all a bit muddled.. need some food!
Onwards and upwards...

 

I can really relate to the work frustration, coming home and feeling unable to do anything constructive. And funny you should mention food. You may have been legitimately hungry but I have a bad habit of using food to distract myself when I get home. Then I really feel unmotivated. For me it's recognising that I have to make small changes to my routine. Like today instead of making a beeline for the fridge, I went straight out into the garden. The garden is changing every day during this season and I don't want to miss a thing. I have lots of good intentions to do all sorts of stuff but if I don't write these ideas down I end up falling back into well-worn patterns. Must go and ponder what I'll do tomorrow....and write it down!

 

That's fantastic spiralgirl! So glad to hear you're enjoying your walks.

I sympathise with feeling worn out from work. Is there something you can reward yourself with after going for a walk or doing the program that will motivate you? It can be something as simple as watching TV or having a snack (or sitting in the garden, like yb44!)

 

The suddenly fabulous weather here gives even more incentive to the walking (and photo taking) ...would have put a photo on but can't work out how to make size small enough to upload onto this forum..
and yes garden or walks is fantastic way to balance out after work.

..
that is the issue for me and also trying to strike a balance between being organised and writing stuff down etc but not falling into being perfectionist and almost setting myself upto fail.
I have a real tendency to procrastinate on things that have a deadline or timescale.. kid myself that I work better under pressure . That then causes me to get stressed and more avoidant..
I have yet again been doing it with a little art project I am involved it... why???? Something I need to reflect on.. infact as I type I am seeing this issue affecting many areas of my life adversely.

Little steps and small goals... and, as yb44 says, written down.

 

Hi spiralgirl:

I see this was written last week, so how are you doing now? You may dislike this suggestion, but when I did the SEP here on the wiki, I got up an hour or two before I had to do anything. I totally rearranged my morning.

1) go outdoors and listen to the birds. No thoughts. Birds. How many birds do I hear?
2) meditate for a bit (this I've kinda gotten away from since I'm busier these days)
3) read and reflect on the lesson (I'd allow 45 minutes to an hour since this was and is about me)
4) enter my day as calmly and peacefully as possible. Try to remember to live in the moment. Try not to let the bad thoughts in.
5) faith. I have had faith for a long time that this is a journey I'm on and it will work eventually. No pressure.

I've had good days and bad days and going half mad days (line from a Jimmy Buffett song) but overall, I am doing a little better. Wish I could say I was "there". But submerging myself in this work, making myself get up early to quietly start my day, and writing A LOT - got me into some good habits. I carry a little book now so I can write down the day's missions. It helps because I don't have to keep a mental list, I have my little notebook. I don't journal as much as I should, but life, as I stated has gotten busier. So getting up early is no longer a real option as I get up and start moving ASAP these days. I DO remind myself of the birds and still do that. I try and stay off my computer at least for an hour every morning, and yes I walk the beach - but still require pain medication in order to feel "safe".

That's another story - just thought some of this might help you!

BG

 

BG ~ I like your schedule. Funny, but the past few days there has been this cute little bird that walks back and forth on our block wall making this cute noise and I have been watching him. Not necessarily first thing in the morning, but still. I do enjoy listening to him and watching him.

Curious about when you said you walk the beach, but still require pain medication. Do you mean you use pain medication when you walk the beach?

 

Yes. I started years ago when I was told my pain was a 14 on a scale of 1-10 by my doctor. My SI joint was out of alignment for over 8 years. No one could detect it (even with an MRI) and I was simply told - I was in a lot of pain. Finally I hooked up with an old chiropractor and he put the SI joint back in place. Still not much relief. And now it's been 4 years since that happened - I should be fine right?

Nope. Loads of stress over here on the NW coast. I do the best I can, hate that I know what's wrong (TMS) yet still require medication to get through my days. The day will come.

So long answer - yes honeybear, I take pain medication when I head out to the beach. I am not walking the hard sand, but instead combing the rocks for treasures. It's my favorite "sport". I've had some amazing moments though on the beach where I realize I am low on medication and in no pain. It's because I let myself enjoy what I'm doing and the worry stops for a while.

BG

 

It's great that you have such a relaxing sport to enjoy. I, too, have something that I love to do, and it is making candles and tarts.

I was curious about the pain medication because I long for the day when I will no longer rely on it to manage my pain. I feel such tremendous guilt when I do take it. I have dealt with these headaches for over 18 years, but it has only been in the past 3 that I ever started giving myself any relief with medication. Prior to that, I just suffered. I feel like I have made substantial progress over the past year, though, in reducing the amount I take each month by two-thirds. (I used to take anywhere between 12-15 painkillers a month, but since last August, it has dropped to from 3-5). Still, I am hopeful that I will, at some point in the future, not need any meds at all. As I deal with my pain on an emotional level, I am certain that I will get to where I hope to be, and I'm sure you will, too.

 

Thanks honeybear:

Here's to the day where we're both "there".

BG