Day 3 - Exercise

The prompt today is asking about physical activity. I am a very active person, and I take my health very seriously. The problem is consistency. Not consistency, in that I skip days from laziness, but consistency in that I'm either constantly hurt, and therefore avoid going to the gym while the pain relieves itself over a month or two, or working out so carefully because I'm afraid I'm going to injure myself and be out of the gym for a month or two.

When I work out, I feel better. I feel stronger, look stronger, feel more masculine, feel a relief in the tensions and stress that happen in everyday life, but its been years since I've been able to have a consistent practice of exercise. And worse, I'm getting older, and I know that muscle mass and strength decline naturally in these years.

All of this has turned exercise into an activity that scares the sh%t out of me. I exercise because I don't want to get weaker, but I'm scared of moving the wrong way, lifting with my back, putting a weight over my head, lifting too heavily, etc.

I haven't held my children in years. I quit playing ice hockey a decade ago (a sport I would literally dream about nightly), and exercise has become a chore that I just constantly worry about.

I feel like I've become less of a man to my wife, to my kids, and mainly to myself. All is which causes more tension, and as I've been discovering, directly correlates to the increased pain and frequency of the pain. It's awful cycle that I am eager to break.

Now that I know that all of my pain is caused by this conscious and unconscious tension, I'm so excited to finally get back to exercise, and maybe even get back on the ice to play a little hockey. It's time to get my life back and I'm so excited to start exercising without fear.