Day 3 Exercising

This is going to be long winded!
On July 4th, I completed a big, challenging mountain bike ride. It was over 60 miles, and almost 8,000 feet of climbing. I had completed this ride before, a few years prior. This past year, I had a fantasy of training over the winter, spring, and summer to compete in a very hard bike race in September- 125 miles, starting at 10pm, with A LOT of climbing. almost immediately, my knee started bothering me, then my thigh, etc. This, combined with limited free time due to work and two toddlers, I gave up on training and did not sign up for the race. I did a handful of rides these past several months, but nothing of any significance. As a result, I was nervous about the 4th of July ride. I talked about it at work, but always mentioned that I didn't know if I would finish it, and my usual self deprecating humor. I was especially dreading the first 20 miles, which is a long, sustained climb on pavement and dirt roads, starting at 4AM.
In the past, I have developed a dull ache in my left shoulder on long bike rides, usually with long climbs. More often on my road or gravel bike, but also on my mountain bike. Within an hour of riding, my shoulder began to hurt. My friend gave me Ibuprofen, but it continued to hurt for hours. Even without shoulder pain, this would have been a very challenging ride, but it was brutal. I realized for hours at a time, I was mostly just thinking about the pain, and not enjoying the scenery. I had a big break 9 hours into the ride, and then it was mostly downhill. By the last 5 miles, which were relatively flat, I was hammering and feeling better than almost any other point in the ride. My shoulder pain was gone, or insignificant.
After I started reading Dr. Sarno's book, I began to analyze this ride and my shoulder pain. I have had it for over a dozen years, and I have always told myself that it was from a bike accident where I collided with a car, and that I have "weak" shoulders. I am questioning this explanation now. Immediately after the accident, I really wasn't that hurt, and I still think it would make more sense for my right shoulder to have been injured, not my left.
For the past week or so, my neck and back pain has diminished, and my shoulder pain has been more prominent. I am viewing this as more evidence that all of this pain is TMS and not structural.
Yesterday was very interesting at work. I tried to be positive, but was ready for minimal change after day 0 and 1. I had pain start multiple times throughout the day, but it was never sustained. Today was a bit worse, but still, not sustained pain. This evening it has been more constant. After typing this, I am going to spend some time focusing on the idea that this pain is tension from anxiety, and fear. I think it will take a bit to be 100% committed/convinced of TMS self diagnosis, but I feel like I am ready for this.

I'll try to keep this second part short. When I started dentistry 7 yrs ago, I started trail running. I loved it, but within 2 months I was having intense IT band pain on my left knee. I tried resting it, a minimal amount of foam rolling and stretching, but I could not continue running. I would experience the same pain most of the time I would hike downhill. I know that fear is the emotion I have about running and hiking, as I am afraid of the pain. I am planning on doing a short run this weekend to prove to myself that I can do this.

Thanks.

 

That’s your problem, right there! The trick is to not care. And then the pain will go away. I haven’t conquered that this time around, but I have in the past, and it works.

 

Thank you! I think I have been doing the opposite- visualizing/focusing on the pain and the negative. I will try to focus on the strength and growth. I feel like I have been able to do this a bit these first few days while at work. The pain starts, and I keep telling myself that this is tension, ask what am I feeling right now- usually it's stress of a hard procedure or patient in the dental office, and feelings of imposter syndrome. I have been able to think the pain away for the most part! This week has been a big improvement so far!