Day 3: Ugh...

So, here I am on Day 3 and feeling bad. Yesterday afternoon, I had to write about the things that make me angry and the things that make me sad. I was suprised to find that exposing the sadness was much more difficult for me. I tapped into something that was very uncomfortable for me and I found myself thinking about it off and on all night. Later in the day, while sitting in the waiting room of my dentists office, I was struck with this sharp pain on the right side of my neck. Took my breath away! While I was sitting there, trying not to panic, I told myself that there is nothing wrong with my neck and the pain went away. This morning, after my workout, that same neck pain hit me again, and I felt that fearful, anxious response rise in me. My heart started pounding, headache, and my stomach started churning. I told myself again that there is nothing physically wrong with my neck, and the pain has subsided to a dull ache in my neck and shoulder.

I am now fully aware that that as I go through this process, acknowledging feelings that I have so deeply repressed may result in pain. It sucks, but I have to keep going.

 

For sure. That means you're doing it right and your brain is like a toddler having a tantrum. It's trying to trick you.
Mine did the same at first. I even woke up wheezing in the middle of the night once.

 

Hi Rachel.
When TMS pain moves, you're on the right track. Keep on keeping on!

 

Hi, Rachel. Ines and Gigi are right and giving you excellent advice and encouragement.

You may experience days without pain and other days with some. Try to focus on the good days and knowing that TMS is causing your pain. You know that when you believe totally in TMS, the pain stops. It may move around or return because your subconscious isn't totally convinced you have discovered the emotional causes of your symptoms. You are early in the SEProgram. Stick with it and the journaling.

Practice deep breathing and stay positive. I've found great help through meditation.

Hi, Buster. As far back as Biblical times, people have had emotional problems they thought were unsolvable. Many turned to faith to heal them, and history proves it works. Are you at all spiritual? Have you asked God to relieve you of your suicidal thoughts?
I urge you to try the Relaxation Response...

Meditation is a time-honored way of relaxing the mind and relieving anxiety, mental stress, headaches, and even physical pain. There are many ways to practice meditation, but many consider the most successful to be a technique called the Relaxation Response (RR).

It is a wonderful way to practice TMS Mindbody Healing because it changes harmful thinking in the subconscious mind which Dr. John Sarno says causes pain that is not caused by anything structural.

The RR, practiced once twice a day for 10, 15, or 20 minutes has a profound positive effect on the subconscious mind, relieving or curing everything from anxiety, hypertension, headaches, fatigue, nervousness, dizziness, high blood pressure, insomnia, stomach problems, all forms of pain including backaches, abdominal pain, muscle pain, neck, arm, and leg pain, and relieves side affects from cancer and AIDS.

RR is like Transcendental Meditation which is taught by TM specialists who charge hundreds or thousands of dollars. But the RR is free and you can do it yourself.

It is practiced, before a meal, and works best if not practiced within two hours after a meal. I do it in bed before arising in the morning and again in bed before falling sleep. Often, I only do it 5 or 10 minutes and it works to calm me and put me to sleep.

Sit in a chair (or lie in bed in the morning or at bedtime), close your eyes, don’t listen to any music, and try to avoid outside noises. Let your mind think of a word such as "One " which has no real meaning or association. Or say a calming word such as “Calm” or “Peace,” or add the faith or spiritual element by saying a favorite religious word or prayer. Breathe naturally or incorporate Deep Breathing by breathing in through the mouth to inflate the stomach, suck in the stomach while holding the breath for a few seconds, then say the word when you exhale through the mouth.

Say the word silently over and over. At the end of the 10 to 20 minutes, picture and feel yourself as you were when you felt your best, and in a place where you felt that way.

When distracting thoughts arise during the RR, as they will, just tell yourself, “Oh, well,” and go back to repeating your chosen word.

My "word" is a prayer: "God loves me and is protecting me." I say it a few times and go right to sleep. If my mind wanders onto other things, I tell myself"Oh, well," and repeat my mantra silently while deep breathing.

There are several free videos on Youtube about the Relaxation Response. I especially recommend these two by Dr. Benson: