Day 3

For me, reflecting on past life events and dealing with those traumas is the most difficult. It is not talking about the events themselves but rather determining why I cannot feel a lot of emotions towards those events.

My trauma: My father had a mental illness and committed suicide when I was 11. When I first found out I was very emotional but have had a lot of trouble expressing my feelings or tapping into my emotions since that day.

Other traumatic events: I did not have the greatest relationship with my step father and have since been divorced, which could also lead to some issues with TMS nowadays. I have some everyday anxiety and rage but not what I would believe would be considered abnormal.

I believe that the trauma from my father's suicide has a direct correlation but have had a lot of difficulties with dealing with those emotions. I've been to therapy a couple of times, which did seem to help a little but never really brought everything to surface. The biggest problem is that I am not sure what I'm unconsciously holding in. It a real struggle.

But just being able to post and read other's stories has been helpful.

 

Stay strong Josh!!! The pain will start to go away. I can relate to you because I have feelings like I want to cry but I just can’t. I’ve had 1 or 2 good emotions that I let out and I can tell you that during one of them my pain almost completely went away. I hit it and found 1 thing that I realized was something I needed to release. Be positive.. you will get there.

 

Thanks! I appreciate the support.