Day 31: current stress

OMG this topic had to come up today. Yesterday I made a list of the things stressing me out and there were seven of them, count them, seven. And when I read through them they were really only the same stress: "Will my body be able to handle doing this?" Every single item. My confidence peaks and dips. My progress isn't linear. My courage sometimes deserts me. My personality says I have to rock all these things, do every one of them perfectly, make a neat little check in the box next to each one. That may not happen. And I need to learn to be okay with that, because that's what is.

 

Ahhhh again same thing here.... my ONLY problem in the last years is my back.
Stresses all relate to my health.
Will my back let me adopt this puppy who is planned and dreamed for in a month? Or i will cancel because won’t still be able to function like the last two weeks? Will we deprieved of ths great joy because of my back pain?
Will I be back to resume working? I am self employed, without sick leave
Will I still be able to drive? Go hiking? Canoeing?
Will my husband really stay with me for all our lifes if i never get better? ( he does not stress about this, only me).
I cancelled a cottage outing planned this week and two weeks of work in the last days. It’s worse then ever. i am afraid that my fear is growing instead of improving while I dig into everything that is to fix...
Where is the limit between accepting our limitations and pain (cancelling cottage trip for exemple) and just abandoning and letting fear eat our life?