Day 32 - a good day!

I feel that I'm getting there.

Today looked like a very busy Sunday. I woke up already sore and my back wasn't in good shape, I was already stressed since I had to take my daughter to children's museum and I knew this is not going to be an easy day.
I was seriously considering cancelling the whole trip, thinking I'm not gonna make it. Walking will kill me and those kids running around...But I looked at her and felt that I can't disappoint her, this poor kids was so looking forward to do the trip. So I sat down and journal for 20 minutes about my fear and other stuff in my head, read today's educational activity, did hair and nice make up, and go.
It was bad, It was really bad. I had to sit down many times and I felt that my lower back is very sore but I didn't give up, I was keep telling myself that the pain is not real, that its fake, and try to enjoy time with my loveed one. After a good hour of walking I realize that I don't feel pain! Even when I sat down I got myself prepared for sharp pain in my lower back that was there for the last few weeks but it was gone! You have no idea how happy I was, I wanted to scream - "I knew your fake, I knew you're not real, if you were true you wouldn't run away like that". I couldn't believe, I sat down and up many times, people probably thought that I'm insane, just to make sure that it's really gone. AND IT WAS!!! no pain in my shoulders, no in my lower back, nothing!!!!
On the way back home I got a huge migrene, which is super bizarre, I never had one, but I'll take a stupid headache instead of back pain - especially that it's another proof - it's moving = it's TMS!
I came back home and the pain is back but it's ok, I'll take it. I know that I asked my body for a lot today and I'm so grateful for everything it give me today.

I know I have TMS, I know it's not an easy thing to deal with but its curable and I'll keep this moment in my memory, I even went to store to buy myself eyeshadow palette that I wanted for a while (makeup is my hobby) just to remind me about this day, when I felt so great in the moment when I should feel like rubbish. I'm almost done with SEP but I won't not stop there. I just got Dr. Schubiner book and I'll keep working, reading, journaling. Do another SEP, go see TMS dr, read mindbody books. I'll do all that kinds of stuff because it's working!!!
And it will work for you, just don't give up!

 

I am so happy for you Aaricia. You are strong, and getting the fruits of your work! I love the happiness and trust you express in this process, and how you think out ahead to continuing in whatever way is correct for you----with so much confidence.

Whenever you have a hard day, this is an entry to read, and read again.

Andy B

 

What an uplifting post!!!!!
Thank you for sharing.
I also have small children (and pain - hahaha) and I can picture the entire situation in my head. I'm celebrating with you. And LOVE the detail about the headache. How totally predictable and boring and textbook TMS!
Dear Pain, You can't fool us any longer and you can't make us afraid. We will face issues through our journaling and our work and not be afraid of feelings!!!
YAY!!!!!!

 

Thank you @Andy B for support!
Today i have even better day. I just relax and keep tell my body especially when doing painful stuff that it’s ok, my body is fine, there is no need to be in pain etc.
Last Google talk with Dr Schubinier helped me a lot to understand the reversibility of TMS conditioning.
@srton, I think that they should give you a copy of Healing Back Pain by Dr Sarno, when you leave hospital with a newborn
When you have a minute check out this video, it’s very inspiring, especially Q&A part at the end. Hugs to you!