Day 33 Day 33-35: A lot of change and a lot of emotions

The day after one of the associates I trained a few years ago told me he was leaving the company for family reasons (his class was my favorite class I have trained), we got even more big news at work.

We found out in a very rushed way that one of my best friends on our team at work got promoted and is leaving our team. This comes several months after my other best friend on our team moved away and left the company A plethora of emotions came over me. I was extremely happy for him because he has been on our team longer than I have and it has been so long overdue for him. I was also extremely sad because selfishly I don't want him to leave because he is the heart of our team. Our team as a whole wasn't given enough time to process before the "big announcement" with other teams around.

The other component of this is that we recently moved the location of our desks to an area that everyone on our team hates. It's more cramped and a bit darker. All of this together just felt like so much change at once in one week.

Rather than internalizing my emotions about it, I expressed to everyone (even my managers) how I was feeling a lot of emotions at once about the move and all of the changes and I feel very happy, sad, overwhelmed, angry all at once. It felt good because a lot of others on the team were feeling the same way.

Other things I feel really happy about right now is my family support in helping me do yard work/spruce up my house. Everyone has been so supportive in helping me pick out plants, plant them and come up with a game plan for how to make everything look nice. My uncle has been doing a lot of my labor, my parents have been coming over to help support and even my grandmother has been over to help.

I have made a lot of progress with overcoming anxiety and sleeping much better the past few weeks. Is the sinus/headache pain and post-nasal drip still annoying? Absolutely. However, I am still working to change my relationship with how uncomfortable it is to keep on just living my life without worry.

Last night I had what I think is a migraine but I still meditated to focus my awareness on it. I still went to bed with it and woke up with it, but am not letting it ruin my whole day today. I took my migraine medication and didn't feel bad about it. A month ago I would spend the whole day wagering whether or not I should take the pill because it means I gave in and am weak, or fret about taking too much medication.

I am doing the best I can with what I've got.