Day 39 day 39

So I have been apprehensive to mention what's been going on for the last month. Around the same time I started the stuctured educational program I had started homeopathic remedy ( i forgot what they call it) but it is a general wellnes remedy not geared towards anything in particular but overall health. My symptoms were 90% abated I felt great adapting a positive attitude positive affirmations feeling great. But always had the under current fear of it not lasting and is it the program or the remedy. Checking in every bend, every morning , all day long, monitoring how I felt, getting better getting worse, etc. Which to me was a setup for failure And over the last week or 2 the symptoms gradually all returned. Now angry, disappointed I have come to realize the incredible amount of pressure I put on myself. But, this is who I am, obsessive personality, (more is always better). I always feel I'm different, what works for others never works for me. The same thing happened with my blood pressure. My Dr said I am my own worst enemy, he told me to stop checking my blood pressure for 2 weeks and come back to see him. Ironically my BP was normal. Even my wife would tell me stop checking your BP all the time. Ive lived with chronic pain for 40 years the problem is I dont know how to live without it.

 

Hi, Rick. You do need to stop thinking about your health, not only your blood pressure, but your health in general.
The more we think about a paper cut on our finger, the more it will hurt.
If I think about the ringing in my ears, it will bother me. If I distract my mind with something pleasant,
I don't even hear the ringing.

Practice deep breathing, meditating, telling yourself you are fine. Think yourself well and you will become well.

Most people with pain have obsessive perfectionist personalities. We have to learn to modify that. Roll with the punches.
I get angry at things but find that I can laugh them off. Try laughing. It really works to relieve stress and pain.

 

You said this is who you are and that's illusion because what you have is a trait that can be changed. I had pain for 25 years and I think after a few years we all grab some what of an attachment to our pain, all you need do is detach from it. If you would like to go further let me know. Bless you

 

Hi Rick,

Whilst I see the importance to know what your BP is, it is by no means healthy to obsess over something. You are doing a wonderful job by taking up the SEP and whilst you do these, you will have moments were you feel better, worse, the important thing is to work through and keep sending the signal to your mind that you are in control of your mind and are not merely a passenger.

If you are armed with a strong belief, commitment and ability to instil the TMS teachings into your mind, your mind will finally accept there is nothing wrong with you and your healing will begin. I am trying to heal myself as we speak, a crucial thing to remember is that to be cured is a journey and not a destination, only few recover over night, the important thing is to be kind and gentle to yourself. Even if you have taken two steps back in your healing, pick yourself back up and try again.

I think its about understanding and accepting who we are and how we process internal stressors (traits) and external stressors (life), whilst behavioural traits are harder to change, we can learn to be in tune with ourselves in the present and prevent the emotion from being activated, like Eric has suggested. External stressors are more around our relationships with people, are we surrounded with people that trigger negative or positive emotions, past or present, then we need to delve into the relationship from a psychological stand point, feel our emotion and either love that person or let go. We simply cannot harbour the emotion otherwise we will be stuck in the vicious cycle.

I wish you an insightful journey and may you be at one with what hurt you.

Mike