Day 4 - disheartening remarks from mainstream doctors

The day 4 question to ponder asks you to think about a disheartening thing that a doctor has said to you.

In my case, towards the end of an appointment with a neurosurgeon (which lasted for no longer than 10 minutes and half of which was him dictating a letter for his secretary) I was told that he sees people in far worse pain than me and I should just go and do exercise.

At the time I was really taken aback at his offhand attitude and struggled to understand it. I was there to seek his help and wasn't looking for pity or anything that would require comparison with other patients. I simply rated my pain honestly as 4/10, which I understand is not a high level but I explained it was the constant nature of my pain that made it so difficult to contend with.

I suppose I still carry that encounter with me today in terms of being angry towards the way I was spoken to (I'm glad that I am able to say that now and recognise it. My normal approach would have been to swallow that anger but recognising it through this journalling activity feels somewhat cathartic).

To similar effect, a different comment was made to me by another doctor. He began a sentence with "I'm going to assume, given your occupation, you're not a malingerer or crazy". (To give some extra information I work as a teacher). This too bothered me quite a bit as, to me, it implied that many people who present with invisible symptoms are not genuine. This has affected me in that I don't tell people about my pain, even my closest friends are largely unaware as are most of my colleagues, as in the back of my mind I am afraid of being viewed as "imagining it" or being crazy. To look on the positive side though, thankfully neither of these two doctors are my regular doctor who is a family friend and has more compassion and understanding towards my case.

 

My reply was disheartening by what wasn’t said. A medico did say (once again correctly) that it was anxiety, in a voice fit for five year olds. In my naive uneducated state I thought he was brushing me off because I didn’t have any panic in shopping centres or fear of doom or gloom - the basic old fashioned stereotype I had of a person “living on their nerves”. Then went straight into meditation talk. If only he took the time to explain what stress is capable off, that you don’t have to feel “anxious” to suffer the consequences of anxiety and recommend anti-stress actions etc. I just left feeling over-looked and a little humiliated. This was only 2 years ago when all this knowledge was readily available. Boy, have I learned a lot since then. marls

 

I can totally relate to having an experience where a medical "professional" was so very condescending, and left me feeling like I had no good options for recovery. Fortunately I did not listen to them and recovered 90%. Working on the last 10% that is TMS. Awesome that you are now able to express not only how you felt about getting the condition in the first place, but also about how you felt when the doctor's words and actions were hurtful on top of it all. I appreciate you sharing that!

 

I just realised I typed “meditation”. Hell no! He went straight into “medication” talk.
Some medicoes find it hard to change.

Anyway, sod him, I’m off to do my TaiChi. Marls